Answering Your Pregnancy Questions + HF Update

Hi friends! This episode is a little different in that I’m answering some of your questions and in that, this will be my last episode for a while! As of when this podcast is airing, I’m just a few days out from my due date with our second child and getting everything ready to meet him next week! I’ll give a little more info on what you can expect from the podcast over the summer as we transition into being a family of four. We’re excited for this new chapter for our family and while you won’t be hearing much from me over the next couple of months, I do have tons of resources and previous episodes (95 to be exact) for you to go back and listen to over the summer. I also have a new resource to share with you that I’ve been working on for a while and was finally able to finish. If you’re on my email list, you already got access to it in your inbox yesterday, but I wanted to share it here too. My new guide is called Little by Little: A Beginner’s Guide to Reducing Toxins. It’s a free download that walks you through the process of transitioning into a less-toxic lifestyle in a way that doesn’t stress you out. It starts with what I feel are the most important or highest priority products and things to transition and then moves through a list, helping you with the transition over time, rather than feeling like you have to do everything at once. I know when I first started learning about toxins and environmental exposures I felt super overwhelmed and discouraged because I just didn’t have the capacity or the budget to throw away everything and start over with less-toxic options. So I created this guide with that feeling in mind and I hope that it will take away that stress/overwhelmed element for you. It even includes an actual checklist for you that you can print out and stick on your fridge so that as you work through one area, you can see what’s next and hopefully will make the whole process feel more achievable. I’m excited to get to share that with you before I take a little time away. 

Okay, so let’s get into answering your questions about this pregnancy and what you can expect from me in the next few months! 

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I asked a while back what pregnancy-related questions you guys had and I’ve just compiled a list of some of the more common questions I’ve received over the past few months and want to talk through those now. Every pregnancy experience is different, even in the same woman, so I’m sure some of what I share you will relate with and probably some that you won’t and that’s fine too. I wanted to take just a few minutes to answer some of these questions before my mind gets super hazy with even less sleep and postpartum hormones. 🙂

How am I feeling? How has this pregnancy been in comparison to the last? 

This is probably the most common question and I so appreciate that people care to ask, but it’s always funny to answer because it changes from day to day. As of now, I’m feeling pretty uncomfortable and very ready for this little guy to be out, as I’d say most women feel at 39 weeks along. 

This pregnancy has been pretty different than my first pregnancy with our daughter. Of course, that was 6 years ago, so I don’t fully remember every detail about how I felt with her but there are some definite differences. I’ve had a whole lot more heartburn with this one than with her - especially during the first trimester and then of course, here at the end again. I honestly don’t remember having heartburn one time with my first but I’ve for sure made up for it this time. I also had some nausea in the first trimester, but not a lot. More just the heartburn. It was pretty smooth sailing during the second trimester until about 20 weeks and I started to experience severe hip pain, especially at night when trying to sleep. If you haven’t heard Remi’s birth story, I had a rough delivery with her and she was way bigger of a baby than any of us imagined. I had to do months of PT after her delivery and had been pretty good as if I had restored my core for the most part before getting pregnant this time, but as soon as my belly started growing and stretching things out, I started having a lot of pain in my back and pelvis. So, it’s been a much more challenging pregnancy physically than my first. All I can say is that I’m super thankful for my chiropractor. If you guys have listened to the last episode, you got to hear from her and all the benefits of receiving chiro care during pregnancy, but I can honestly say that I’m not sure how I would have made it through these last few months without treatment. I’m super thankful for that and outside of just typical discomforts and aches/pressure at this point, I’m feeling good. Just ready. :)

Did I experience infertility again this time? How long did it take? 

I’ve shared a lot about our infertility journey before our first pregnancy and having endometriosis/multiple surgeries, etc. but I guess I haven’t shared a whole lot about how things were this time around. Secondary infertility is less talked about and I think sometimes harder to define/diagnose because there are so many factors at play. So to answer the question, I would say yes - we did experience secondary infertility but it was quite different than the first time around. I did have to have another excision surgery for endometriosis, but it had been about 6 years since my last one and thankfully there were minimal lesions found and not near the amount of adhesions or scar tissue that was found before. We didn’t do any conventional fertility treatments this time around - just tried on our own. Right before I got pregnant, I was going to go in to have my tubes flushed, as this was one of the things that my fertility doc suggested since he said it wasn’t fully opened after surgery, but I got a positive test before doing that. From what I can tell, it seems like maybe because of that tube situation, I was likely having a successful release of an egg during ovulation every other month, so that likely contributed to the time it took us to conceive this time around. All in all, it was probably two-ish years of trying. As I said, it was very different this time around because we had a toddler, at the time who took a long time to sleep through the night and wean. Plus I had surgery in the middle of all of that, so I didn’t keep track of the time quite as rigidly as I did the first time around. Also, from an emotional perspective, I just knew what I was willing to put myself through, and not this time around. As I said, we didn’t do any treatments (outside of surgery and acupuncture) and I didn’t obsessively track things like I did the first time. I would do ovulation tests for a few months and be really on top of things and then when I felt myself burning out, we’d take some time off from being as intentional about it. So because of that, it’s hard to define “how long it took” but it did take some time and there were really hard moments along the way. Especially when Remi would ask for a sibling or why she didn’t have one. But as we’ve learned time and time again, the Lord was faithful during all of it and brought peace to just rest in Him when we needed it and strength to try again when we needed it. I heard someone say one time that God gives you the strength and grace that you need for today - not for tomorrow, or next week, or next year - but for today, so don’t waste your time worrying about something that may happen down the road that you haven’t been given grace for yet. It’s sufficient for today - so rest in that and know that whatever comes in the future, His grace will be sufficient for that day too. I can say that I didn’t perfectly model that this time around but many days were easier because I’ve learned that God will give me what I need and that I can trust Him with our family.  

What prenatal vitamins am I taking? 

This entire pregnancy and even for probably about a year before I got pregnant, I’ve been taking Needed’s prenatal vitamins. First, I was taking their multi-capsules, which is their full-strength supplement, and then during the first and second trimesters, I just took their essentials, which is a paired-down option that is only a couple of capsules because that’s about all I could handle. Then once I finished those, I’ve gone back to their full-strength version for the third tri and added in their probiotic, as well. I’ve also tried to take an omega-3 supplement throughout my pregnancy, but haven’t been super consistent with that. If you’re looking for a prenatal supplement - I highly recommend Needed. I interviewed one of their founders earlier in the year. You can go back and learn more about why their products are different than the industry standard but I’ve really appreciated working with them and just truly believe that they have one of the best options available for perinatal health - preconception - postpartum. You can save 20% off any order with them by using the code HEALTHFORWARD.

What are some of my favorite pregnancy support products, supplements, etc?

I just put together a guide sharing some of my favorite products and things that I’ve used during this pregnancy and what I feel has helped me feel as good as I could. I’ll share that below, but I’ll mention just a few things here as well:

• Genexa Antacids - I told yall about the heartburn. These things have saved me on multiple occasions, especially during the middle of the night. I love that they have the same active ingredient as TUMS but without all of the other flavoring, colorings, and other junk that you get with that. 

• Electrolytes are another big one that I feel has made a big difference. I especially noticed the difference early on when I was dealing with some nausea and just sheer exhaustion, I would feel so much better when I would incorporate minerals and electrolytes. I started using the Pickleball brand several months ago because they are one of the brands highest in potassium, and I feel like it makes a huge difference. I will also sometimes use coconut water or aloe leaf in my drinks as well, but I love the pickleball packets, it has a lot of minerals that I need already put together and I don’t have to measure, etc. I also plan to keep incorporating this throughout postpartum and breastfeeding to keep myself hydrated. 

• I’ve already talked about how much I’ve relied on chiropractic treatment - so that’s been a big one but also taking magnesium soaks/baths. You guys listen, I don’t know how any woman makes it through pregnancy without a bathtub. I know some of you aren’t bath people, but I just cannot understand. That is the only place where I feel comfortable these days and truly cannot imagine life without it 😀The magnesium also helps with relaxing my muscles as I’ve dealt with some Restless Leg Syndrome this last trimester and helping me get better sleep. Not to mention, it’s just good support for my body and especially for my liver as everything is working extra hard these days. 

How long am I taking off? What will work look like when I’m back? 

Well, the short answer is - at least the summer. This will be the last podcast episode and I won’t be producing any regular content or working with clients at all this summer. I’m sure I’ll be on social here and there and sharing some things there, especially after the haze of the first few weeks wears off, but I won’t be “working” per se. I’m not exactly sure when the podcast will be back when regular content will start to flow again or exactly what it will look like. As of now, I’m thinking likely in the beginning of September but I’m not holding myself to that. I’ve never had two kids before and honestly just don't know what life will look like being home with them and trying to run a business. So, we’ll just see. 

The good news is that all of my previous episodes will stay right here and you have 95 episodes worth of my voice to go back and listen to if you start missing me ;) 

My Foundations of Health course - Move Forward, Feel Better will also still be available, so if you’re looking for some health coaching between now and when I’m back, that is a great resource for you that you can access at any time.

Well, that answers all the questions that I have and pretty much wraps things up for today. Everything is linked in today’s show notes and always over in my Instagram bio as well. I’ll miss sharing with you guys this summer but I’m sure you’ll be hearing from me again soon! As always keep moving forward, go love your people well, and I’ll talk to you next time! 

Pregnancy Faves

Amazon Black Romper // Genexa Antacids // LTGL Magnesium Soak (HF10 to save 10%) // Primally Pure Baby Balm (yourhealthforward10 to save 10%) // Needed Prenatal Vitamins (healthforward to save 20%) // Reduce Insulated Tumber // Pickleball Electrolyte Powder // Amazon Maternity Leggings // Amazon Pregnancy Pillow

My Experience with the DUTCH Test by Precision Analytical

Hi friends! Several months ago - back in the spring - I told you guys that I was taking the DUTCH Complete test and then life got crazy and I never really mentioned it again, so in today’s episode, I’m going to give you an update on my experience with the DUTCH test, what I’ve learned from it, and how it’s benefited my health.  

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The DUTCH test is a functional hormone test made by a company called Precision Analytical, a CLIA-certified laboratory. DUTCH stands for Dried Urine Test for Comprehensive Hormones and as the name indicates, their tests evaluate various hormone levels. Some of their tests evaluate sex hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone (as well as their metabolites - more on this later), and some look at adrenal hormones like cortisol and DHEA-S, and some tests look at all of it. Their tests also evaluate oxidative stress markers as well as certain vitamin and organic acid markers. 

My Experience

I chose to go with the DUTCH complete test as it was the most comprehensive test at the time. I wanted an overall look at my sex hormones as well as my adrenal hormones. Some of you may remember that I posted a few stories on Instagram right before I sent my test back in where I showed you what all was included in the test, what it looks like, etc. (those are still in my Endo highlight if you’d like to go back and see those). As I mentioned, this is a dried urine test, so the kit includes cards for you to collect several urine samples over a 24-hour period. It also includes a health history form for all of your medical history as well as places for you to indicate any symptoms you’re experiencing or concerns that you have. Once you’ve completed all of your samples, you seal everything up and mail it back to Precision Analytical in a prepaid package envelope. It’s honestly very easy to do and the instructions are very detailed and clear. 

My full report with my results was emailed to me within two weeks of when I mailed in the test.

Who is the DUTCH test for?

In my opinion, this test can be beneficial for anyone, because I always think that more information about your body and how it’s functioning is helpful. Mainly, I think that the DUTCH test can be very helpful for anyone experiencing hormonal imbalance symptoms or a hormone-driven condition like PCOS, Endometriosis, Uterine Fibroids, infertility, etc. Also, this test can be helpful for anyone with a history of estrogen-driven cancer in their families such as breast or prostate cancer, or anyone who is concerned about their risk.

DUTCH Results Report

I’m going to walk you through some of my results so you can better understand what this test looks like and how you can use the results to support your health. I will say that this is a very in-depth report, so unless you are trained in hormone health and detox pathways, you will need the help of a physician trained in these areas - likely a functional medicine doctor. The report does provide a summary at the end of each section of the results, but for an in-depth understanding and how to address/treat any issues that are found, you will need the support of someone trained in this. I do have a few functional med Drs that I can refer you to, if you’d like to send me an email or DM, I can help you with that. 

• The first page starts with a summary of the main 3 sex hormones - Estradiol (E2), progesterone, and testosterone - and adrenal hormones - total DHEA and free Cortisol. (So for me, it showed that my overall estrogen was on the high end of normal, my progesterone was on the low end of normal, and my testosterone was right in the middle of the normal range. My cortisol pattern looked good, although the free cortisol was a little more on the low end. My total DHEA also looked good. No real surprises here for me - it’s pretty much what I expected)

• Page 2 of the report lists the hormone metabolites (the liver breaks down active hormones into water-soluble metabolites in order to be excreted from the body). There are different metabolites for each hormone and measuring these helps you to know how your body is clearing excess hormones. If your body isn’t doing this well, it can increase your risk for hormone-driven disease and cancer. For example, the hormone estrogen actually has 3 primary forms - Estrone (E1), Estradiol (E2), and Estriol (E3) and each can be broken down and pass through a few different metabolite pathways to be eventually excreted from the body. The ideal pathway is called the 2-OH pathway and it is considered the safest or most protective, meaning it’s the least likely to bind to something it shouldn’t or cause any damage to your DNA on its way out. On the other hand, there is the 4-OH pathway that is the least desired pathway because when not properly detoxified these metabolites are more likely to cause damage. When your body seems to prefer this pathway and doesn’t do a good job of detoxification, this can increase your risk of estrogen-driven cancer, specifically breast cancer. This is a big deal and something that is important to know. There are ways that you can support your body’s detoxification pathways but you need to know as soon as possible, rather than waiting until it’s becoming a problem to address it.

• Page 3 is a visual representation of each hormone and its metabolites and their pathways. It also allows you to see how your body prefers to metabolize hormones. 

• Pages 4 and 5 give you a similar structure as 3-4 but with adrenal hormones as well as a helpful diagram that shows the process of how our stress hormones are triggered and the pathways that they follow throughout the body. 

• Page 6 lists the organic acids that are tested which include markers for vitamins B12 and B6, and glutathione (a major antioxidant that is very important for detoxification) as well as metabolites for dopamine, norepinephrine/epinephrine, melatonin, and a marker for oxidative stress/DNA damage. 

• The remaining pages provide a summary of a few clinical notes that would be made on any out-of-range results that you have, as well as explanations for each marker and how to read the report. 

As you can see, this is a very in-depth report that goes into way more detail than a normal hormone panel that your PCP or GYN would order. I also love the fact that since this test is measured with urine, it can look at how your body is detoxing the hormones. This is something that a serum or blood test can’t evaluate in the same way. 

Again, I highly recommend this test for anyone who feels that there is something off with their hormones as well as anyone who knows that they have estrogen dominance issues or who may have elevated risk factors for hormone-driven disease or cancer/has a family history of breast or prostate cancers. 

You can order the test through a DUTCH-affiliated provider by searching their website or you can order the test online for yourself and have it sent to your home. DUTCH gave me a coupon code to share with you if you want to order it for yourself - use the code adhc100 for $100 off the cost of the test. 

If you have any questions about the test or need help getting in touch with a physician that could help interpret your results, feel free to send an email to info@yourhealthforward.com or send me a DM on Instagram. 

The Importance of Optimal Perinatal Nutrition with Julie Sawaya, Co-Founder of Needed

In today's episode, Julie Sawaya, co-founder of perinatal nutrition company - Needed, is sharing the importance of optimal nutritional support for all stages of a woman’s life, but especially before, during, and after pregnancy.

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Questions answered in this episode…

Tell us about how you got into the vitamin and supplementation field and why you helped start Needed.

One of my favorite things about Needed is that so much research and input from clinicians went into formulating all of the products. Why is this so important? 

What subset of the population can really benefit from taking prenatal vitamins and supportive supplements? Is it only for those who are currently pregnant?

How can supplementing with optimal nutrients help support fertility and those trying to conceive or maybe struggling with conception?

Needed recently launched a men’s line of products. Tell us a little more about why that is important and so unique. 

Other than the research aspect, what are some things that set Needed apart from over-the-counter prenatal or prescription prenatal?

Where can people learn more about Needed? 

Needed is a nutrition company that I personally use and trust, as well as recommend to a lot of my clients. If you would like to try Needed for yourself, you can use code HEALTHFORWARD to save 20% on a one-time purchase or HEALTHFORWARD100 to save $100 on the first three months of the Complete Plan Bundle

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Why Optimal Magnesium Levels Matter with Kristen Bowen

In today's episode, Kristen Bowen, from Living the Good Life Naturally, is sharing the importance of optimal magnesium levels and how it affects the body. She also explains how we can know if we are deficient and how to get back to optimal levels to support our health.

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Questions answered in this episode…

How did you start helping people with their health and specifically focusing on magnesium?

Why do you think it’s so important for overall health to really own your own health journey? 

Let’s talk about magnesium for a bit: Why is magnesium so important and what does it do in the body?

Is magnesium deficiency common among women? How can someone know if they are deficient?

Can magnesium deficiency contribute to hormonal imbalances or reproductive challenges? 

What is transdermal magnesium and why is it better than an oral magnesium supplement?

Can Epsom salts help in a similar way to transdermal magnesium?

What protocol do you typically recommend for transdermal magnesium supplementation?

Where can people learn more about ordering magnesium? 

Resources mentioned in this episode: Magnesium soak, magnesium muscle cream, magnesium lotion - USE CODE HF10 for 10% off your order.
Living the Good Life Naturally youtube education videos; follow Kristen on Instagram

Find more from Kristen here.

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"My Endo Story": Rachel Daugherty and Cassie Lawson

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month and in this episode, I'm sharing the stories of two more of my friends who also have Endometriosis. As they share their symptoms, experiences with various forms of treatment, and how their lives have been affected, you will hear many complexities of this common condition. Please help us in continuing to spread awareness by sharing this episode with your friends and family members who may also be affected by Endometriosis.

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Resources mentioned in this episode: Endometriosis episodes on the Health Forward Podcast; Nancy's Nook Education Facebook Page

Topics in this episode:

When did you first start experiencing symptoms and what were they?

In what way did these symptoms affect your life?

How did you realize it was endo?

What course of treatment did you decide to do?

Where are you on the journey now? 

What do you wish more people knew about endo?

"My Endo Story": Kellie Shortridge and Kayla Collins

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month and in this episode, I'm sharing the stories of two of my friends who also have Endometriosis. As they share their symptoms, experiences with various forms of treatment, and how their lives have been affected, you will hear many complexities of this common condition. Please help us in continuing to spread awareness by sharing this episode with your friends and family members who may also be affected by Endometriosis.

LISTEN HERE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | GOOGLE

Resources mentioned in this episode: Endometriosis episodes on the Health Forward Podcast; Nancy's Nook Education Facebook Page

Topics in this episode:

When did you first start experiencing symptoms and what were they?

In what way did these symptoms affect your life?

How did you realize it was endo?

What course of treatment did you decide to do?

Where are you on the journey now? 

What do you wish more people knew about endo?

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Why Liver Health Matters

Hi friends! In today’s episode, we are talking about our livers and why it’s so important that we take good care of them! The health of our livers is probably not something that often crosses our minds, but it is one of the most important organs in our bodies both for everyday function and long-term health. So let’s get into talking about the liver…

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The liver is the unsung hero of our bodies. It performs over 500 essential functions and unless something is going wrong, it rarely ever gets noticed. Most people I know don’t go around thinking about their livers throughout the day, yet it’s functions are vital to all other body systems’ ability to function. 

For example, here are a few of the essential functions the liver is responsible for:

Digestion and absorption

Our livers help turn our food into energy. It stores and distributes both fat and glucose, as well as metabolizes both cholesterol and protein.  It produces bile which is vital for digestion and absorption of key vitamins and nutrients and then distributes those nutrients out to the body. It also produces key enzymes that are needed for other chemical reactions all over the body. In addition to distribution, it also stores vitamins and minerals that will be needed in the future. So just by listing these few things, this shows that our livers help regulate our blood sugar, cholesterol, and hormone levels. 

Immune Function

Our livers produce of certain proteins and components of the immune system such as cytokines as well as various other immune cells. Our livers maintain a certain amount of controlled inflammation which assists the body in detoxification, but when this becomes uncontrolled or dysregulated, it can lead to systemic inflammation which damages the immune system and can even lead to auto-immunity or cancer. 

Hormone Function

The liver is hugely important for hormone health. Our livers create proteins and cholesterol that carry hormones all over the body. In addition, it also helps deactivate hormones and assist with ridding our bodies of excess hormones, or ones that we no longer need. This process is vitally important. For example, with the hormone estrogen, our livers actually regulate which kind of estrogens our bodies produce, as well as help with the processes that remove excess estrogen from the body. Without this essential function, an excess of estrogens can build in the body leading to estrogen-dominant diseases and cancer.  

Detox 

The function that our livers are best know for is detoxification. The liver is responsible for the movement of the blood in our bodies. As a matter of fact, almost 1½ liters of blood pass through our liver every single minute in order to be filtered. Through this process it extracts toxins and stores nutrients for later use (which we discussed when talking about digestion and absorption). The liver detoxifies in three phases that must stay in sync with each other. 

Phase One is bioidentification. This is when your body sends out enzymes that put a red flag on all toxins. Phase two is conjugation. This is when the body attaches molecules to those flagged toxins to make them either water soluble or fat soluble. Phase three is elimination. This is when the body actually flushes the toxins from our bodies when we use the bathroom (and sometimes through sweat). If one of these phases isn’t working correctly, it can damage our body’s cells and allow the toxins to continue to circulate in our bodies, further taxing our livers and creating a loop of inflammation. Every single substance we breathe, ingest, or absorb through our skin will pass through our liver, which creates a huge workload for it every single day. 

The point here is that every other system in the body is dependent on the function of the liver and when our livers are healthy, and functioning well, this works great! However, the truth is that the majority of Americans are walking around with less-than-healthy livers. 

What happens when our livers aren’t healthy

It’s estimated that up to 90 million Americans (that’s almost ⅓ of the American population) has Fatty Liver Disease, which is basically inflammation of the liver that occurs when apprx. 5% of cells in the liver are replaced with fat cells. This causes the liver to be unable to keep up with it’s 500+ essential functions and add to systemic inflammation in the rest of the body, which can lead to other chronic diseases like heart disease, diabetes, even Alzheimers and Dementia. 

If Fatty Liver Disease is left untreated, it can progress into Fibrosis, and even Cirrhosis of the liver, which leads to liver failure (fatal). Liver Disease doesn’t just occur because of alcohol or drug use or Hepatitis. Non-alcoholic fatty liver disease is the most common form of liver disease and is caused by a combination of lifestyle and genetics - most commonly high-starch/high-sugar diets, insufficient protein intake, intake of trans fats and artificial chemicals, unresolved emotions and trauma, lack of movement in the lymphatic system, and overexposure to environmental toxins. It’s not usually only too much fat, as the name would suggest.

Symptoms of an unhealthy liver or fatty liver disease

There aren’t always immediate symptoms, which can make it tricky. When symptoms do occur, some common ones are:

• Abdominal pain, fullness in the upper right side

• Nausea, loss of appetite (especially in the AM)

• Swelling in legs/abdomen

• Fatigue

• Brain Fog/confusion

• Waking up at night in the 2-3 am range regularly

You can ask your provider to run labs to check enzyme levels most commonly found in the liver ALT and AST. If either level is over 30, especially ALT, this can be indicative of a damaged liver. It’s important to note that by the time these levels are above normal, damage to the liver is already happening. So we don’t want to wait until then to care for and support the health of our liver. 

The good news is that livers regenerate and that our body has an amazing ability to heal. It will need some support from us, but an unhealthy liver, even most diseased livers, with the exception of cirrhosis, can be become healthy and well-functioning again. 

In the next episode, I am going to share ways that you can support your liver health to prevent an unhealthy, sluggish, or diseased liver, as well as ways that you can help your liver to heal if you are already experiencing liver dysfunction or disease. Make sure you stay tuned for that episode! 

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PCOS 101

September is PCOS awareness month and so for today’s episode, I wanted to do a quick deep dive into some basics about PCOS. It is actually the number one hormonal imbalance condition among reproductive-aged women and sadly, the leading cause of female infertility. So, this condition affects a lot of women and like many other hormonal issues, it can take a long time to get a proper diagnosis. So I want you to be informed about what PCOS is, what some of the common symptoms are, and if you or someone you love has PCOS, what we can do to help with it!

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PCOS is a common hormone and metabolic condition that affects up to 15% of reproductive-age women. It is associated with a higher risk for long-term health issues such as heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea, and infertility. Higher instances of insulin resistance, IBS, and depression/anxiety are also reported with PCOS. 

Symptoms often associated with this disorder are absent or infrequent menstrual cycles, excess weight gain or inability to lose weight, excess facial or body hair, head hair thinning or loss, severe acne, and often (but not always) insulin resistance and polycystic ovaries. 

PCOS is the most common form of hormonal imbalance and while experts know that it is rooted in inflammation and insulin dysregulation, what actually triggers PCOS is not understood. There seems to be a genetic factor, as women with moms or sisters diagnosed with PCOS are likely to have it as well. Also, as with any hormonal condition, gut health plays a major role. Some believe that it can possibly be linked with a combination of imbalanced gut flora and increased intestinal permeability, which leads to increased inflammation in the body. This can cause cells to become rigid and unable to receive the signal from insulin to let glucose into the cell (which leads to your pancreas continuing to pump out more insulin, and left untreated eventually becomes insulin resistance). Although ovaries do not become insulin resistant, when bombarded with insulin, the ovaries can respond by secreting testosterone. An excess of insulin can also inhibit the secretion of sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG) which is the protein that binds excess sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen. This creates a perfect storm for these common PCOS symptoms.

PCOS is a clinical diagnosis, which means that it’s based on having a grouping of some PCOS symptoms and ruling out other diagnoses. Often a physician may want to perform an ultrasound to check the ovaries for cysts, but it is important to note not every woman with PCOS will have polycystic ovaries (despite the name). Most women with PCOS do have insulin resistance, but again - not all. It’s important that you work with your physician and be informed on the recommended lab tests that can be helpful for making a diagnosis. Functional medicine practitioners recommend a full thyroid panel, a full hormone panel including estrogen, testosterone, DHEA, SHBG, progesterone, prolactin, LH, FSH, and AMH, as well as a lipid panel and fasting blood glucose and insulin, and A1C. There may also be other tests as well as research about PCOS continues to be published. 

Once someone receives a PCOS diagnosis there really aren’t a lot of great conventional treatment options. The most common option is to take hormonal birth control and while that can help with symptoms, unfortunately, it doesn’t do anything to actually heal the cause of the symptoms. Not only that, but some believe that it may actually worsen the condition over time. Metformin is also a common medication given to women with PCOS. Just be sure to research and speak with your doctor about the common negative side effects that can be associated with it. 

While there is no cure for PCOS, there are things that a woman diagnosed with PCOS can do to help with symptoms as well as target the underlying known contributors to PCOS - blood sugar dysregulation, poor gut health, and inflammation. 

When I work with clients who have PCOS the first two things that we work on are supporting balanced blood sugar and healing their gut. So let’s talk about some foods, supplements, and lifestyle modifications that can help with those things.

When it comes to food, the first thing to remember is that your body needs to feel safe and know that it can count on adequate fuel throughout the day. The best way to do this is to eat a balanced meal (meaning fiber, protein, and fat) about every 3-4 hours. So that typically looks like breakfast, lunch, dinner, and at least 1 snack, maybe 2. You don’t want to eat continually or fall into grazing throughout the day, but also don’t skip meals or go long periods of time without eating. 

Some specific foods that can help:  

• clean sources of protein: wild-caught, omega-3 rich fish such as salmon, cod, trout or sardines; bone broth, grass-fed beef

• High fiber carbs:  cruciferous veggies, pumpkin, beans, rice, berries, goji, cherries, onion, parsley, garlic, freshly ground flax seeds 

• Healthy fats: walnuts, coconut, olives, 

• Herbs, spices, teas: cinnamon, turmeric, ginger, decaf green tea, Holy Basil tea, liver support teas - like milk thistle or dandelion 

There are some supplements that may also be helpful. I do just want to remind you that everyone’s body is different and may respond differently to herbs/supplements. It’s really best to work with a practitioner who is knowledgeable about these supplements and your particular healthy history. With that said, Vitamin D and methylated B-complex can be helpful because a lot of women (in general), especially with PCOS, are deficient in these. Herbs like Vitex, Dong Quai, saw palmetto, nettle root, and licorice can help with some of the common PCOS symptoms. Inositol is another common supplement given to help with insulin sensitivity and other common issues with PCOS.

There are also some lifestyle recommendations and alternative therapies that can be helpful as well. We all know that regular exercise is good for us, but especially for women with PCOS daily movement is vital for reducing inflammation, balancing blood sugar, and supporting gut and liver health. It’s also important to participate in weight training at least 2x per week (either bodyweight or added weights) which has been proven to help increase insulin sensitivity, allowing it to be more useful in the body. It’s also recommended that women with PCOS prioritize getting 8-9 hours of sleep each night and commit to stress-reducing routines like daily walks and downtime from social media and other emotional stressors. Acupuncture can also be helpful. Many women have also found seed cycling to be helpful - and that probably needs its own episode but essentially is eating certain types of seeds in the follicular phase of your cycle and then switching to other seeds in the second type of your cycle. This can help the body get rid of excess hormones more efficiently and may support more balanced hormone levels. It also provides a great source of fiber which is helpful for gut and liver health  

Ultimately, if you or someone you love has PCOS it’s important to know that even though there isn’t a cure, symptoms can be managed and your body can be supported in such a way that the condition doesn’t have to take over your life. Make sure to get a good team of healthcare professionals on your side that can help you with all aspects of your health and really take the time to learn about PCOS and about how your own body responds - what works for you and what doesn’t. 

Friends, I hope that this episode has been helpful for you. If you’re struggling with PCOS know that you aren’t in this alone and that there is help available for you. Start with some of these things that I’ve mentioned today and build a team of people around you that can support you in this journey. As always if you have any questions, you can send an email to info@yourhealthforward.com. 

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How I Supported My Body through Surgery

Hi friends!! In today’s episode, I’m sharing about my recent endometriosis surgery and some of the things that I did, both pre-op and post-op, to support my body through the process. My hope is that this episode will help those of you who may be looking at an endo-surgery for yourself or a friend/family member, but also for anyone who may have any kind of abdominal surgery, or really any surgery at all. Surgery is hard on the body and providing it with a little extra support can go a long way in speeding up recovery time and post-op symptoms.

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So in the last episode, I shared with you guys that I was going to be having another surgery for endometriosis and that I would update you on how everything went, as well as how I supported my body through the process. So today, I want to share those things with you. 

I’m about 1.5 months post-op at this point and thankfully, feeling really good! Overall, this was the smoothest and best surgery experience that I’ve had (of the 3) and I’m so grateful for that! I had a whole lot of people supporting me - praying for me and helping out - which I think has played a huge part in how smoothly I’ve recovered, but I also think that doing a few things both before and after surgery has really helped, as well. 

Pre-Op:

As anyone who has ever had surgery knows, it’s quite hard on the body. So, a few weeks before my surgery date I started doing a few things to both strengthen my immune system. I was already taking a prenatal vitamin as well as omega-3 supplements, CBD oil, and a probiotic daily - so I made sure to be very consistent with those. I also started taking an additional dose of liposomal vitamin c and vitamin d. I also tried to be really consistent with moving my body and getting good sleep. I even added melatonin to my regiment a few times a week, just to ensure that I was getting good, deep sleep and because it acts as an antioxidant. (Note- I did stop the omega 3s and melatonin one week before sx as they can thin the blood a bit). 

I also wanted to support my detox pathways as much as possible, knowing that I was going to be given a lot of medication (which I very gladly accepted), so I upped the times of week that dry-brushed and took detox baths. 

The surgery itself went very well. Going into it, I knew that I had cysts on both ovaries, and given that it had been 6 years since my last surgery, I honestly expected for it to be really severe. However, the surgery only took a little over an hour and there were very few lesions, at least in comparison to last time ((where I had stage 4 lesions). My doctor was also quite surprised and happy with that. As I said, I was given so much medication - more so than any other surgery prior, but again - I gladly accepted it. Thankfully, I had no complications (and had a very easy IV stick, which is usually not the case for me), so I was able to go home shortly after waking up. I will say that if you ever find yourself needing to have surgery, get yourself a BFF that’s a nurse to go with you! I basically had my own private nurse who took great care of me, kept me laughing and chatting all day, and was looking over everyone’s shoulder to make sure everything went according to plan. :) {Chrissy, you’re the real MVP here!} 

Post-Op:

So, once I got home, I was given meds to help with both pain and nausea. Thankfully, I didn’t experience that much nausea this time, but I did stay on top of it with the meds for the first 24 hours. Trust me when I tell you that puking and abdominal incisions DO NOT go well together. DO NOT RECOMMEND. I was pretty bloated and uncomfortable from the CO2 that they use to inflate the abdomen for surgery. This is a super common symptom after any kind of laparoscopic abdominal surgery and usually resolves in a day or less. 

The next few days looked like a lot of resting and sleeping as much as I could (hello, 3-yr old:)). I was pretty unsteady for about 24 hours and needed help getting up and down for a couple days. The pain stayed at a moderate level for 3-4 days and was easily manageable with the pain meds and I was able to wean down to just taking Aleve after about 3-4 days. 

During this time I did try to get in as much bone broth / bb protein as I could to start helping my gut recover from all the meds. I also upped my daily dose of probiotics since I was given antibiotics during surgery and also went back to taking the omega supplement as well as CBD, vitamin D, and extra vitamin C. 

Within a couple of days, I found myself wanting to move more, but I quickly had to learn to listen to my body because if I was walking around more than about 5 minutes, I would start bleeding more. That probably lasted for about 5ish days and then I was able to extend that time. 

One of the most challenging parts for me this time was the effect that the anesthesia (and possibly some of the meds) had on me emotionally/mentally. I felt super foggy and kind of just in a funk for about a week. I don’t remember that being an issue in previous surgeries. 

I would say that I was feeling back to myself, at least 90%, at about 2 weeks post-op, and now I am fully 100% back to normal, or honestly probably a little better than I was before surgery. I’m working my way into exercise, prioritizing my core strength and pelvic floor right now, so doing mainly Pilates for that. I’m also continuing with my vitamin/supplement regimen with the extra vitamin c and higher probiotic doses daily, as well as trying to get 3-4 dry brushing sessions and detox baths every week. 

My post-op appointment went really well and so we will resume trying on our own for baby #2 for a while. I will go back in for a follow-up in about 4-5 months, and I am starting acupuncture back next week (a couple of episodes on that if you want to know more - episode 32 and episode 54). So we’re hopeful and will just see what happens. Right now, I’m just really thankful to have the surgery behind me and to be feeling good, less inflamed, and more energetic. 

I hope that this episode has been helpful for you! If you have an upcoming surgery, I hope that you will use some of these tips and ideas as you prepare and recover. If you know someone with #endo or who may have surgery coming up, pass this episode along to them. It can be so unnerving not knowing what to expect or what recovery may look like, so I hope sharing my experience will help a little with that as well as empower you to know that there are things that you can do to help support your recovery. 

Before I leave you for today, I wanted to share with you a little encouragement - especially for those of you who may be facing surgery or any kind of concern over your health. The morning of surgery, I opened my Bible for a few minutes with God before heading to the hospital. I knew I didn’t have a lot of time, so I just randomly opened it, planning to just read a Psalm or Proverb. I opened it to Psalm 35, to a verse I don’t even remember reading before, that said “He takes pleasure in His servant’s well-being” and it brought me so much peace. I hope it brings peace to you as well! 

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What I've Learned about Body Image and Chronic Disease

Hi friends! In this episode, I’m sharing some things that I’ve learned recently about navigating body image while dealing with chronic disease and how it’s affecting me personally. My hope is that some of these things that I’ve learned will be helpful and encouraging for you too!

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So if you’re thinking, “wow, Alaina - you’ve been talking an awful lot about body image lately…”, let me just say - you’re not wrong. 

A couple of months ago, one of my favorite people to follow online - Jess Connolly - started promoting her new book “Breaking Free from Body Shame” that comes out this month, and instead of a launch team, she created a community called Good Body Gals - if you listen to me here, online, or in real life, you’ve definitely heard me talk about it. :) I joined it because 1) - I’m a Jess fan-girl and 2) because I wanted to learn more about struggles with body image and body shame - especially from a Christian perspective, not only for myself but for the women that I coach. I wanted to be better equipped on how to help them work through some of these issues as well.  

What I did not anticipate is that right about that same time, I would start having Endo symptoms flare up and find out that I need to have another surgery soon. It’s been six years since my last surgery and when I had that last one I was in the thick of a long season with infertility, so I really wasn’t sure how the news would affect me this time around. I certainly wasn’t prepared for the way it would affect my body image. 

Last time, I was so much younger and was so deeply wounded and hurting from the journey I had been on. I remember feeling like my body was broken or betraying me back then but this time, I expected it to be different, I guess. I’m older, I feel like I’ve healed a lot emotionally, I’ve grown a lot spiritually, and by God's sweet faithfulness and grace, I am a mom now! I even went back to school and learned how to help others with Endo and other health challenges… how am I struggling so much with this now?

But it wasn’t different. If anything, I think it hit me a little harder this time. 

My thoughts quickly started spiraling - I thought I was done with this part of my life, you know - the “pain into purpose”, Cinderella story thing. A chapter in my story that I could look back on and credit with helping me know God more and finally figure out what I wanted to do with my life. 

I’m a health coach now! I teach other people how to move through their own health challenges and support their bodies in functioning the best that they can! How can mine be struggling so much? 

I felt frustrated. I felt a little ashamed. I felt like I didn’t do enough, didn’t know enough. That it was somehow my fault. 

I know the reality. I know that Endo is never truly gone/cured (outside of something miraculous- which I do believe can happen but don’t believe that everyone’s story goes that way). If I hadn't learned and applied what I have to try and support my body, things would likely be much, much worse. I probably would’ve already needed surgery again long before now, but the thing is, logic doesn’t really have much of an effect on feelings, does it? 

I’m so thankful that God allowed me to join the Good Body Gals community right at that same time. He knew that I would need to have some truth poured into me and spoken over me to fight these feelings. {Btw, this episode isn’t a plug for Jess or her community - although I highly recommend it to any woman, anywhere, any age}. My point in all of this is that this is a hard issue that so many of us deal with. Whether it’s as simple as feeling disappointed in yourself every time you look in the mirror, or something horrible and derogatory that someone has spoken over you that you’ve allowed to define you and still ring in your ears today, or if it’s some kind of brokenness and weakness that you are experiencing in your body - whatever the circumstance poor body image or body shame is a common struggle that when left unchecked or unmet with the truth, will start to affect the rest of your life and your health. 

I want to share just a couple of the things that I’ve learned or been reminded of over the last few weeks that I hope will help you too. 

My body is not a project 

This one really got me. I didn’t realize it until I heard it specifically addressed and taught on, but this is something that I have subconsciously thought about myself at least since I received the #endo diagnosis, maybe before that. My body being able to function, be fertile, perform, look and act the way that I wanted it to is something I have been striving toward for the past 8 or so years. Don’t get me wrong, I 100% believe in supporting our bodies to be as healthy and functioning as they can be - but for me, especially while I was going through infertility, it crossed over into obsession and consumed me. This idea of always striving, always improving, always optimizing consumed more of my thoughts, time, money, and probably even my prayers than just about anything else during that time. When I realized that I was starting to be symptomatic again, it was so easy for all of those obsessive “need to fix it” type thoughts to start rolling in again and with it these fears and insecurities that maybe I wasn’t worthy enough or knowledgeable enough to do this - to keep teaching you how to support your own health.

My body is not a tool 

Another lesson that was shared recently was the idea that not only is my body not a project, but it’s also not a tool. To be honest, I had some mental/emotional resistance to that one at first. I think I’ve always believed that my body or my health was a tool for me to turn around and use to serve others - and that sounds good, right? I mean, aren’t we supposed to be selfless and all about helping others? 

Here’s the issue with both of these ideas: when we view our bodies, or even our health, as a continual project or as a tool only intended for other people, it can quickly lead us into shame and feelings of failure because the “project” will never be done or complete on this Earth - the goalposts will keep moving and we won’t ever catch them, and at some point, our bodies aren’t going to feel like a very useful tool anymore - they aren’t going to perform, look, act, or be able to be used the way that they once were. Both of these ways of thinking lead us to look at ourselves with shame, guilt, or disappointment. And the real, real issue is that they have us just looking at ourselves.

The actual beautiful truth that we can replace these false ideas with is that God created our bodies as a gift!  He made them so that we would have a way to experience Him and worship Him while we are here on this earth and also be able to experience the rest of His creation. When we adopt this perspective instead, we find ourselves looking at God rather than ourselves and that’s the whole point. He made our bodies good and beautiful because they reflect Him. 

God’s Glory

The last thought I want to leave you with today is something that was so, so convicting to me. God is God - and that means that He is always after His Glory. When we find ourselves getting caught up in how our bodies look, how they are performing, how healthy they are or aren’t - we need to think long and hard about our motives. Why do we want those things so badly? Is it so that other people will see how good we look, how hard we’ve worked, how healthy we are, how much weight we’ve lost or muscle we’ve gained? Do we want other people to see us? If it’s about that, if that’s where our motives are - then we are out for our own glory. If we find ourselves thinking “wow - look at her” or “wow - look what she’s been able to do” (and friends, let's be honest - we have all thought those things at some point), then we are trying to take God’s glory. As believers, as women who bear the image of God, our goals should be wrapped up in people looking at us and saying “wow - look at God”, “Wow - look what God has done.”

I know that is tough and kinda stings because it got me too. I’m still preaching it to myself as much as I am to you - but if we are going to experience true freedom in our health and our body image, we are going to have to align ourselves with the truth of what God says about it (He created us after all) and then we will be able to care for our health and our bodies as the gifts that they are. 

Some exciting news… 

Lastly, I want to share some exciting news with you today! As we are talking about aligning ourselves with truth and caring for our bodies as the gifts that they are - I have created something that I believe will help you do just that! 

For a long time, I have been wanting to provide an option for women just like you who are wanting to support their bodies and improve certain areas of their health but want to do it in a way that actually moves their health forward with a real, lasting impact. I know how overwhelming it can be to try to figure out what to do first and which thing is best for you, specifically - and I want to make that easier for you than it was for me,  which I why I started coaching - but I also know that not everyone has the budget or schedule margin for one-on-one coaching. So I’m so excited to share with you that I have created an eCourse! Hooray! 

The Move Forward, Feel Better course is a 4-module course, in which you will learn the exact steps needed to:

• Sustain your energy throughout the day, without the afternoon crash

• Support a healthy weight that’s right for your body

• Improve the clarity of your skin, from the inside out

• Increase your mental clarity and ability to focus

• Build a strong, well-functioning immune system

• Stabilize your mood and reduce frustration with yourself

• Foster a healthy body image that’s based on the truth of who you are

• Support your gut health and overall function of your body

So now you’re thinking “sounds great… but what’s the price?” {See, I told you that I’ve been where you are. ;)}

While I’ve seen other courses similar to this one that retails anywhere from $300-$400 and I could easily charge that for this course, I want to make this as affordable and accessible to you as possible, which is why I’m offering this course for only $79. 

And as a special gift, you can also get a follow-up, 1-hr, group-coaching session with me for absolutely FREE when you enroll in the course by next Thursday, June 17th (that’s one week from today).

Once you enroll in the course, you will have lifetime access to all the videos, course guides, a private FB community where you can be in community with other women, just like yourself so there is no better time to take advantage of this offer - start moving forward in your health journey, and caring for your body as the gift that it is. And don’t forget, when you enroll with the code HFpod you will also get a free group coaching session with me! 

I’m so excited to be able to offer this course to you! You can get all the details, as well as enroll in the course by going to yourhealthforward.com/course. 

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What I Wish I Could Have Known at the Beginning of Our Infertility Journey

Infertility can be a long journey and as with anything difficult or challenging, there are certain things that you learn as you go through it. So often I hear people say, “if I only knew then what I know now”, so as we observe #infertilityawarenessweek, I want to share some things that I wish I could have known at the beginning of my infertility journey. Not because I think it will change your outcome or really even your timeline, but because I hope that it will help you find a little more joy in the journey (and yes, I do believe that is possible) and because I hope it will encourage your heart, whether you are walking through infertility or some other hard time in your life. 

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What I Wish I Could Have Known

Some things about myself...

• My body isn’t broken. My body, my health, and my fertility are not projects. While there are things I can do to support the functions of my body, that’s not my sole purpose in life. 

• It’s better to have all the information instead of spending time being too scared to find out. Just go ahead and get the labs done, make the fertility appointment, see what the options are, and then make an informed decision. 

• I am a whole person, outside of being a mom. Infertility doesn’t define me and neither will motherhood.

Some things about marriage… 

This is going to be very hard on our marriage, but we can choose to be all in, no matter how ugly and challenging it may get, and have a stronger marriage because of it. Do the work and don’t expect it to just be okay. 

• Go to counseling

• Have open communication with each other without expecting one another to handle things perfectly. Don’t try to fix each other. 

• Learn to be okay with the other person not being okay sometimes - just be there for each other

• Keep intimacy fun and not only for purposes of “trying”

• Enjoy being with each other and doing all the things that come easier without kids - take the trips, never skip date night, do home projects, etc. While wonderful in every single way, a baby makes everything more complicated.

• Don’t miss what we have now because we are so focused on the future.  

Some things about other relationships...

• I cannot do this by myself. I need to let some people into it to walk along with me. They won’t completely understand and that’s okay. Your people will love you even when you aren’t okay. 

• Finding a support group or at least another couple or two that are walking the same road is so helpful (online resources if none local) 

• Take some of the pressure off. I don’t have to attend every single baby shower or gender reveal party. I don’t need to isolate and wallow in self-pity but I also can’t hold myself to an impossible standard either. I can love people well and still hold healthy boundaries. 

Some things about God...

• God isn’t being cruel or holding out on me and He isn’t punishing me for something. He doesn’t treat his kids like that. My grief and heartbreak break His heart too. 

• God made my body good because it’s made in His image. Even if the brokenness of this world is affecting the way it’s functioning, it is still a creation of the Father, and He cannot make bad things. 

• There is beauty within this pain and if I lean into trusting God through it, there is treasure on the other side of this journey. I can trust Him with this deep desire. 

• That void that I feel, that hole in my heart - it’s a God-shaped hole and only He can fill it.

Friend, there is nothing that I can say that will make this journey easy. Nothing that will take the pain away but my hope and prayer is that something I’ve said here today will resonate with you and help you know that you aren’t alone. You are seen and loved and there are a lot of other people out there feeling the same way that you do. 

If you ever need to reach out and connect with someone who understands, feel free to send me an email or a DM on Instagram. I’d be happy to connect with you. 

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How Acupuncture Can Improve Fertility with Sarah Prater, L.Ac

Hi friends! I’m so excited to welcome Sarah Prater back to the podcast today! Sarah is a Reproductive Acupuncturist specializing in infertility. She the founder and acupuncturist at the TN Center for Reproductive Acupuncture here in Knoxville and is just an amazing resource for those navigating their infertility journeys. 

Sarah has been a huge part of my personal journey with both infertility and endometriosis, so I asked to her share the effect acupuncture can have on fertility as well as any other health benefits that can come from it. She also explains the details of what an acupuncture appointment is like as well as what kind of fertility journeys are best paired with treatment by a licensed acupuncturist.

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Questions found in this episode:

What is acupuncture?

How does acupuncture affect fertility? What are the benefits?

Does acupuncture only work with natural cycles or can it help with advanced reproductive treatment options as well?

Can you give us an idea of what a typical cycle with acupuncture would look like?

Is there anyone that acupuncture may not be a good choice for?

Are there any other resources you suggest for those walking through infertility?

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Infertility and the Holidays

Hey friends! Today’s episode is geared towards those walking through infertility or for those who have close friends or family experiencing infertility. As I’ve shared from my own experience and from the experiences of several friends who have also dealt with infertility, it’s a very challenging and difficult experience - physically, emotionally, financially, relationally - really it affects all aspects of your life. This is especially true during the holiday season. 

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While the holidays are a joyful time, often filled with fun and celebration, they can also be incredibly difficult for those dealing with infertility. This is true for pretty much every holiday, but especially so during this time of year with Thanksgiving and Christmas so close together. The emphasis on family traditions, making fun memories, etc. that come with these particular holidays can really highlight the void and lack that couples with infertility can find themselves feeling. 

I wanted to share a few ideas of things that helped us as well as things that friends have shared with me that were helpful to them.

Acknowledge that it’s hard

If you’re walking through infertility, acknowledge when you’re having a hard time. It can feel tempting to just suck it up and act like everything is fine, but that is only going to make things harder on you emotionally. It’s okay for you to feel how you feel. If this season isn’t hard for you, that’s fine too! Just take the pressure off of yourself to feel a certain way. 

If your family member or friend is dealing with infertility, acknowledge that this is probably a difficult time for them. Be intentional about checking on them, giving them a little extra love, and making yourself available for them to talk to you about it if they want to (without pressuring them). A simple text that says “Hey - I know this can be a tough time of year. Just wanted you to know I’m always here to listen if you want to talk.” can be a huge encouragement to them - just to know that you haven’t forgotten them and what they are going through. 

Remove expectations

This is going to look like giving yourself (or your friend/family member) lots and lots of grace. If you don’t feel like going to the Christmas party where everyone brings their kids, be okay politely saying no. If you know that certain “holiday” things are going to be triggering for you, maybe just skip those this time. If something is going to cause you to be in an unhealthy place, it’s okay to say no. This also applies to social media! The comparison game is difficult with social media regardless, but I feel like it’s even more difficult during the holiday season, especially if you are dealing with infertility. It may be a good time to take a social media break through the holidays and come back to it in January (or not :P). 

If your friend or family member is the one dealing with infertility, just make sure you’re being considerate. It’s not that anyone expects or wants you to walk on eggshells around them or never invite them to be around your kids, etc. Just be conscious that it may be difficult for them and don’t place extra pressure on them to come to things or be okay. On that note, don’t just not invite them either. I know that feels a little complicated but there is a balance there. Just be gracious. Invite them to the party, feel free to talk to them about your life, your kids, your pregnancy, etc. Just consider their feelings and ask them how they are feeling about things. One of the things that make infertility even more difficult is how isolating it can feel, so don’t let them feel alone - make sure they know you are there for them. They likely feel like they need to act okay even when they aren’t, so make sure they know that they are supported regardless of how they feel. 

Have your ‘safe place’

This one is more for those actually experiencing infertility - make sure you and your spouse have a ‘safe place’. (If you have seen the movie “Four Christmases” think of the scene where they agree on a safe word before they see their families for Christmas - that’s kind of where I’m going with this!) Family get-togethers can get uncomfortable (for everyone at times), especially during a time like this, so talk about these things before the holidays really get started. Agree on a ‘safe word’ if one of you just really needs to go. Have a ‘safe place’ where you both are free to express your emotions and frustrations without judgment or needing to “fix” the other person - where you can just vent (you know, when Aunt Bertha asks for the tenth time, “well when’s that baby coming?”, or Uncle Fred asks, “do y’all need a reminder on where babies come from?”).

I think it’s also helpful to have a friend or two, other than your spouse, that you can really be open with. Maybe someone who has walked a similar road before or someone who you can just be very vulnerable with, who will listen to you vent, but then who will lovingly remind you of truth, pray for you, cover for you if you need a minute away, etc. Remember, this journey is way harder when you try to go it alone. Find your people and let them in. 

Find a way to make the holidays fun

Even though this season can be tough doesn’t mean that it can’t also be fun and joyful too. Plan some holiday activities that you can do - just you and your spouse or maybe with a group of friends - that are fun! Think of the things that you can do that would be way more challenging if you did have small kids right now. Remember that this a season and chapter in your life - not the whole thing - so enjoy what you have right now. Go Black Friday shopping at 2 AM (safely, of course - maybe virtually this year :P), plan a super romantic Christmas date, spoil your spouse or friends with gifts, take a trip, etc. It doesn’t take away the pain, but joy and sadness can coexist, so let yourself have fun and find some things to get excited about!

Give to and serve others

This is a big one. Listen, I know firsthand that you may not feel like giving and serving during the holidays, but we were created to give and serve. We were made in the image of God and something in us comes alive and more joyful when we are reflecting His character. Giving to and serving others is a big part of that. 

There are tons of opportunities for giving and serving during the holiday season, but one of the main ones that come to mind for me is Operation Christmas Child with Samaritan’s Purse. This year, you can pack a shoebox by either physically shopping for items to fill your shoebox with or pack one virtually through their online portal. It’s such a great opportunity to love on a sweet child that may not get to experience the joy of opening gifts at Christmas. There are also tons of toy drives, coat drives, food pantry needs, etc. during this time of year. 

Maybe there are some kids in your family or friend group who could use some extra love and attention this time of year. Ask if you can buy them gifts or take them to do something fun and give the parents a break. There are always people who need our help and support - especially during the holidays. 

Lastly, I just want to encourage you to keep your focus on the reason and meaning for these holidays. I know it sounds cliche - “the reason for the season” and all - but it’s still true. Where we place our focus matters… what we allow our minds to dwell on matters. As I’ve already said, I’m in no way saying ignore your feelings or just “be happy”, “fake it til you make it” or any other garbage advice like that. The truth though is that both Thanksgiving and Christmas have a purpose, they aren’t purely just for fun. Even in the midst of some of the hardest, darkest day of our lives, we still have things to be thankful for. Research shows that gratitude has a positive effect on our brains, maybe even lessening the effects of depression. It also changes our perspective and shifts our focus from what we may feel that we lack (even as significant as it is) to what we have been blessed with. And the entire point of Christmas is that we all were given an incredible gift that we can never deserve - the gift of a Savior, of one who will bear our burdens and never leave us in our heartache, who will fill our longing and lack, if we will simply choose to accept Him. So this holiday season, make the time to focus on the meaning. Maybe start a gratitude journal, do an Advent study, read through the Christmas story - just do something that shifts your focus. 

I want to wrap up this episode with a little advice from someone other than me. I reached out to a few friends who have also experienced infertility and asked if they had advice for those of you who have close friends and family that you may see this holiday season who are also experiencing infertility. Here’s what they said:

• Don’t say things like “You can always adopt”, “Just relax! It will happen when you least expect it.”, “Don’t stress about it.”, and the most infamous “When are YOU going to have a baby?” 

• Don’t go into the holidays expecting a pregnancy announcement even though those can be common at holiday gatherings

• Don’t add any pressure for couples to have more children, just because their child has gotten older. Secondary infertility is just as real and painful. 

• Overall, just be considerate of your words and how they may make someone else feel. Think before you speak. 

I truly hope that this episode has helped you and given you some ideas of ways that you can enjoy this holiday season or ways to encourage your friends or family through what may be an extra difficult time. If you are personally walking through infertility, please know that you are not alone, you aren’t forgotten, you aren’t being punished or intentionally left out. You are seen, you are loved, you are valuable. Always feel free to reach out to me on social media, if you need someone to talk to that has been there. You can most easily find me on Instagram or send me an email.

If you want to hear more of my personal journey with infertility and endometriosis, check out Episode 31, and for a panel interview about what it’s like to experience infertility, check out Episode 35.