What I've Learned about Body Image and Chronic Disease

Hi friends! In this episode, I’m sharing some things that I’ve learned recently about navigating body image while dealing with chronic disease and how it’s affecting me personally. My hope is that some of these things that I’ve learned will be helpful and encouraging for you too!

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So if you’re thinking, “wow, Alaina - you’ve been talking an awful lot about body image lately…”, let me just say - you’re not wrong. 

A couple of months ago, one of my favorite people to follow online - Jess Connolly - started promoting her new book “Breaking Free from Body Shame” that comes out this month, and instead of a launch team, she created a community called Good Body Gals - if you listen to me here, online, or in real life, you’ve definitely heard me talk about it. :) I joined it because 1) - I’m a Jess fan-girl and 2) because I wanted to learn more about struggles with body image and body shame - especially from a Christian perspective, not only for myself but for the women that I coach. I wanted to be better equipped on how to help them work through some of these issues as well.  

What I did not anticipate is that right about that same time, I would start having Endo symptoms flare up and find out that I need to have another surgery soon. It’s been six years since my last surgery and when I had that last one I was in the thick of a long season with infertility, so I really wasn’t sure how the news would affect me this time around. I certainly wasn’t prepared for the way it would affect my body image. 

Last time, I was so much younger and was so deeply wounded and hurting from the journey I had been on. I remember feeling like my body was broken or betraying me back then but this time, I expected it to be different, I guess. I’m older, I feel like I’ve healed a lot emotionally, I’ve grown a lot spiritually, and by God's sweet faithfulness and grace, I am a mom now! I even went back to school and learned how to help others with Endo and other health challenges… how am I struggling so much with this now?

But it wasn’t different. If anything, I think it hit me a little harder this time. 

My thoughts quickly started spiraling - I thought I was done with this part of my life, you know - the “pain into purpose”, Cinderella story thing. A chapter in my story that I could look back on and credit with helping me know God more and finally figure out what I wanted to do with my life. 

I’m a health coach now! I teach other people how to move through their own health challenges and support their bodies in functioning the best that they can! How can mine be struggling so much? 

I felt frustrated. I felt a little ashamed. I felt like I didn’t do enough, didn’t know enough. That it was somehow my fault. 

I know the reality. I know that Endo is never truly gone/cured (outside of something miraculous- which I do believe can happen but don’t believe that everyone’s story goes that way). If I hadn't learned and applied what I have to try and support my body, things would likely be much, much worse. I probably would’ve already needed surgery again long before now, but the thing is, logic doesn’t really have much of an effect on feelings, does it? 

I’m so thankful that God allowed me to join the Good Body Gals community right at that same time. He knew that I would need to have some truth poured into me and spoken over me to fight these feelings. {Btw, this episode isn’t a plug for Jess or her community - although I highly recommend it to any woman, anywhere, any age}. My point in all of this is that this is a hard issue that so many of us deal with. Whether it’s as simple as feeling disappointed in yourself every time you look in the mirror, or something horrible and derogatory that someone has spoken over you that you’ve allowed to define you and still ring in your ears today, or if it’s some kind of brokenness and weakness that you are experiencing in your body - whatever the circumstance poor body image or body shame is a common struggle that when left unchecked or unmet with the truth, will start to affect the rest of your life and your health. 

I want to share just a couple of the things that I’ve learned or been reminded of over the last few weeks that I hope will help you too. 

My body is not a project 

This one really got me. I didn’t realize it until I heard it specifically addressed and taught on, but this is something that I have subconsciously thought about myself at least since I received the #endo diagnosis, maybe before that. My body being able to function, be fertile, perform, look and act the way that I wanted it to is something I have been striving toward for the past 8 or so years. Don’t get me wrong, I 100% believe in supporting our bodies to be as healthy and functioning as they can be - but for me, especially while I was going through infertility, it crossed over into obsession and consumed me. This idea of always striving, always improving, always optimizing consumed more of my thoughts, time, money, and probably even my prayers than just about anything else during that time. When I realized that I was starting to be symptomatic again, it was so easy for all of those obsessive “need to fix it” type thoughts to start rolling in again and with it these fears and insecurities that maybe I wasn’t worthy enough or knowledgeable enough to do this - to keep teaching you how to support your own health.

My body is not a tool 

Another lesson that was shared recently was the idea that not only is my body not a project, but it’s also not a tool. To be honest, I had some mental/emotional resistance to that one at first. I think I’ve always believed that my body or my health was a tool for me to turn around and use to serve others - and that sounds good, right? I mean, aren’t we supposed to be selfless and all about helping others? 

Here’s the issue with both of these ideas: when we view our bodies, or even our health, as a continual project or as a tool only intended for other people, it can quickly lead us into shame and feelings of failure because the “project” will never be done or complete on this Earth - the goalposts will keep moving and we won’t ever catch them, and at some point, our bodies aren’t going to feel like a very useful tool anymore - they aren’t going to perform, look, act, or be able to be used the way that they once were. Both of these ways of thinking lead us to look at ourselves with shame, guilt, or disappointment. And the real, real issue is that they have us just looking at ourselves.

The actual beautiful truth that we can replace these false ideas with is that God created our bodies as a gift!  He made them so that we would have a way to experience Him and worship Him while we are here on this earth and also be able to experience the rest of His creation. When we adopt this perspective instead, we find ourselves looking at God rather than ourselves and that’s the whole point. He made our bodies good and beautiful because they reflect Him. 

God’s Glory

The last thought I want to leave you with today is something that was so, so convicting to me. God is God - and that means that He is always after His Glory. When we find ourselves getting caught up in how our bodies look, how they are performing, how healthy they are or aren’t - we need to think long and hard about our motives. Why do we want those things so badly? Is it so that other people will see how good we look, how hard we’ve worked, how healthy we are, how much weight we’ve lost or muscle we’ve gained? Do we want other people to see us? If it’s about that, if that’s where our motives are - then we are out for our own glory. If we find ourselves thinking “wow - look at her” or “wow - look what she’s been able to do” (and friends, let's be honest - we have all thought those things at some point), then we are trying to take God’s glory. As believers, as women who bear the image of God, our goals should be wrapped up in people looking at us and saying “wow - look at God”, “Wow - look what God has done.”

I know that is tough and kinda stings because it got me too. I’m still preaching it to myself as much as I am to you - but if we are going to experience true freedom in our health and our body image, we are going to have to align ourselves with the truth of what God says about it (He created us after all) and then we will be able to care for our health and our bodies as the gifts that they are. 

Some exciting news… 

Lastly, I want to share some exciting news with you today! As we are talking about aligning ourselves with truth and caring for our bodies as the gifts that they are - I have created something that I believe will help you do just that! 

For a long time, I have been wanting to provide an option for women just like you who are wanting to support their bodies and improve certain areas of their health but want to do it in a way that actually moves their health forward with a real, lasting impact. I know how overwhelming it can be to try to figure out what to do first and which thing is best for you, specifically - and I want to make that easier for you than it was for me,  which I why I started coaching - but I also know that not everyone has the budget or schedule margin for one-on-one coaching. So I’m so excited to share with you that I have created an eCourse! Hooray! 

The Move Forward, Feel Better course is a 4-module course, in which you will learn the exact steps needed to:

• Sustain your energy throughout the day, without the afternoon crash

• Support a healthy weight that’s right for your body

• Improve the clarity of your skin, from the inside out

• Increase your mental clarity and ability to focus

• Build a strong, well-functioning immune system

• Stabilize your mood and reduce frustration with yourself

• Foster a healthy body image that’s based on the truth of who you are

• Support your gut health and overall function of your body

So now you’re thinking “sounds great… but what’s the price?” {See, I told you that I’ve been where you are. ;)}

While I’ve seen other courses similar to this one that retails anywhere from $300-$400 and I could easily charge that for this course, I want to make this as affordable and accessible to you as possible, which is why I’m offering this course for only $79. 

And as a special gift, you can also get a follow-up, 1-hr, group-coaching session with me for absolutely FREE when you enroll in the course by next Thursday, June 17th (that’s one week from today).

Once you enroll in the course, you will have lifetime access to all the videos, course guides, a private FB community where you can be in community with other women, just like yourself so there is no better time to take advantage of this offer - start moving forward in your health journey, and caring for your body as the gift that it is. And don’t forget, when you enroll with the code HFpod you will also get a free group coaching session with me! 

I’m so excited to be able to offer this course to you! You can get all the details, as well as enroll in the course by going to yourhealthforward.com/course. 

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Book Review | Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen

Hi friends! Today’s episode is a little different than anything I’ve done before - I am reviewing a book that I just recently read with my small group and all of us loved it so much and found it so helpful, so I wanted to share it with you as well. 

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The book is called “Get Out of Your Head - Stop the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts” by Jennie Allen. It’s a book about how God designed our minds to work, how we form thoughts, and how those thoughts can then affect everything in our lives. It talks specifically about negative thought patterns and common triggers that tend to send us down into toxic thought spirals and how we can use truth from God’s word to fight these spirals and disrupt the consequences of our negative patterns of thinking. This book is full of science and scripture which I absolutely love! 

The book is so well laid out. It’s broken down into three parts different parts, so I’m going to share a few things that really stuck out to me from each part. 

In part one Jennie goes into detail about how our thoughts are formed and influenced by our environment or our own past experiences, and how those thoughts then go on to form what we believe and shape how we live. She explains the pattern like this “Our emotions were leading us to thoughts, and those thoughts were dictating our decisions, and our decisions were determining our behaviors, and then the behaviors were shaping our relationships, all of which would take us back to healthy or unhealthy thoughts.” 

In chapter two, she digs further into explaining how a lot of our thoughts can be based on lies we believe about ourselves, which are ultimately rooted in what we believe to be true about God. All of this information is leading the reader to the realization that our thoughts (especially the negative ones - 70%) can create strongholds in our lives that we need to fight back against, but before we can do that we have to learn how to recognize them and stop the spiral.

In the second part of the book, she walks us through exactly how to do that. Side note - I highly recommend getting the study guide to go along with the book. It provides prompts and space to dive deeper into the methods she shares for tearing down strongholds and regaining control of our thoughts. 

The entire process of fighting back hinges on this one truth - that we have a choice. We don’t have to stay stuck in these toxic spirals. We can disrupt them. As Jesus-followers, we have been given all the tools we need to be able to break free. Throughout the entire second part of the book, Jennie walks through common negative emotions and thoughts that we often find ourselves gravitating towards and then provides us with another option - a way to stop the spiral, using truths from God’s word. 

We can fight self-importance with humility

We can fight noise with silence

We can fight cynicism with delight

We can fight isolation with connection

We can fight complacency with intentionality

We can fight victimhood with gratefulness

We can fight anxiety with trust

Then in part three, Jennie wraps up the book reminding us of who Jesus is and as believers, who we are in Him. I just love the reminders that she gives in this section and want to read this part she wrote, specifically what God says about Himself and about you: (from pg 214-216)

I am who I am. (Exodus 3:14)

I am the beginning and the end. I am the first, and I am the last. (Revelation 22:13)

I am light; in Me, there is no darkness at all. (1 John 1:5)

My hand lay the foundation of the earth, and my right hand spread out the heavens; when I call to them, they stand forth. (Isaiah 48:13)

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. (Jeremiah 1:5)

I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my Name, He may give it to you. (John 15:16)

I am He who blots out your transgressions. I will not remember your sins. (Isaiah 43:25)

To all who receive Me, who believe in My Name, I give the right to become children of God. (John 1:12)

 Do you not know that you are God‘s temple and that God‘s Spirit dwells in you? (1 Corinthians 3:16)

My spirit is within you. (Ezekiel 36:27)

I will not leave you. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

I will equip you for every good work I’ve planned. (Hebrews 13:21)

I gave you a spirit not of fear but of power and of love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7)

I will build my church through you, and the gates of hell will not overcome it. (Matthew 16:18)

I will comfort you as you wait. (Isaiah 66:13)

I will remind you this is all real. (John 14:26)

I am on my way. (Revelation 3:11)

My steadfast love endures forever. (Psalm 138:8)

In just a little while… I am coming and I will take you to the place where I am.  (Hebrews 10:27; John 14:3)

You will inherit the earth. (Psalm 25:13)

You will be with Me. I will wipe every tear from your eyes, and death will be no more. Behold, I am making all things new. (Revelation 21:3-5)

My kingdom is coming. My Will will be done on earth as it is in heaven. (Matthew 6:10)

“God has declared these truths about Himself and about me. All these things are true for you and for anyone who loves and follows Jesus. This is who we are because of Whose we are. We make our choices based on these truths. And our God doesn’t change and always delivers on His promises.”

This book was so helpful for me and I honestly believe that it would be helpful to anyone who reads it. Battling a negative mindset or getting caught up in toxic thought patterns isn’t something that only affects a few people - it affects everyone I know, and consequently, it can affect our entire lives. 

I have often talked about how important it is to take care of our mental and emotional health, but I don’t know that I’ve ever felt the true significance of that like I have this past year. As I’ve seen in my own life and in the lives of my clients, if we aren’t paying attention to and caring for our mental/emotional state, we will not be able to be physically healthy. We just won’t have the motivation, the will, or even the capacity to care about it. I truly believe that caring for our mental health and emotional wellbeing starts here - in understanding that we were created in God’s image, as spiritual beings and there is a war going on for our minds. Our mind and our thoughts are the deepest core of who we are and if we aren’t paying attention and being intentional about caring for that part of us, filling ourselves with truth, actively fighting against these lies that are so tempting to believe and often being pushed at us from every angle, it’s going to affect the rest of our lives, our relationships, our health. 

I really can’t recommend this book enough!  You can find both the book and the study guide at Target or most anywhere books are sold - be sure to grab one for yourself and maybe a friend too!

What Covid_19 Has Taught Me about a Healthy Lifestyle

Hi friends! I’m going to be super transparent with you today. I don’t really want to record this episode. I’m weary, I’ve been fighting anxiety more than I want to admit and honestly, I’ve struggled with if I even need to continue putting out content right now because just about everything feels trivial in comparison to this virus and the effect it’s having on people’s lives. 

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As I’m typing this my husband, who is supposed to be working from home, is out on an on-site trying to help another company be able to work remotely, so they can stay afloat. Businesses are closing, everyone has to stay away from each other, people are getting sick and losing their jobs and some even their lives. It almost seems silly to come on here and talk to you about a healthy lifestyle - about what you eat or if you’re exercising or how you’re coping with the stress, but as these thoughts have been turning over inside my head, I keep coming back to this idea: During this pandemic, what has been made very clear to me is that the things I did and cared about from a vanity standpoint didn’t matter to me much at all anymore, but the rhythms and habits that I have put into place that make a difference in my mental and emotional health have never been more important. 

Even the really good things that I still believe are good and are beneficial to your health in the long run - like buying organic and trying to reduce toxin exposure, for example, just took a back seat, because, for the first time in my whole life, I entertained the thought that there might not be enough (and just let me add how much of an eye-opener this has been for me around the idea of privilege and how some people deal with these fears and realities every day - pandemic or not). However, the things that stood out to me, that have become necessary in order to keep some kind of control over my thoughts and emotions became front and center of my idea of a healthy lifestyle. Things like: 

• Having a daily quiet time and drawing near to God. Letting Him speak to my heart and mind the truth of His word has kept my mind centered where it needs to be. It’s allowed me to filter all my feelings through a lens of truth knowing that God is still good and nothing about Him has changed. 

• Moving my body and getting my heart rate up every day. There is a noticeable shift in my mental state when I do this. Not that it’s all better and fixed but I am able to think more logically about things and not just emotionally. Exercise has many benefits to our health but I’m more convinced now than ever that it’s greatest benefit is to our mental health.

• Getting enough sleep. This one has probably been the most impactful because it’s the one I’ve struggled with the most. Anxious thoughts flood my mind at night and make me really not want to go to sleep some nights and I can tell such a difference the next day based on how much I slept - not just mentally but physically too! 

Obviously, I still believe that eating nutritious food is important and protecting your gut health and the immune system is crazy important, especially now, and both of those things also have an impact on your mental health as well. 

I think this has just been a really good reminder for me that so much of our daily struggles can start in our minds and during a time like this when there is so much uncertainty, anxiety, and stress if we don’t make protecting our mindsets a priority, we’re likely going to stop caring about a lot of other things that help keep us healthy. 

(**Disclaimer - I’m not really talking about mental illness or chemical imbalances here. While some of these things may be helpful if you or someone you know is struggling with those issues, these things in no way replace a need for medicines or therapy.) 

So if you’re really struggling with your mindset and you don’t feel like you’re in a good mental/emotional state, take the steps - do the things - that can help with that first. Move your body, connect with God, laugh, sleep, connect with other humans (in a safe way). I think sometimes we have to choose to do the thing, and then the feeling and motivation will come later.  

I hope this has helped encourage you and I hope that you and your families are doing well. We will get through this crazy time and my hope and prayer is that we all choose to come out of it a little better than we were before. 

Hang in there, friends! Talk soon!