013 - Feeling Stuck? This Could Help You Move Forward!
Hello friends! Welcome back and Happy October! October is one of my favorite months of the year for a lot of different reasons! The weather gets cooler (or at least it’s supposed to), and we celebrate some fun things in our family - like our anniversary, our daughter’s birthday, and some other fun celebrations for other family and friend’s birthdays!
October is also the beginning of the holiday season. There are lots of fall activities and get-togethers with family and friends for football games and Halloween. It can be such a fun time of year, but from experience, I know that it can also turn into a super busy, rushed, and kind of stressful time of year. So, I want to use the next few episodes to focus on things we can do to support our mental and emotional health before all of the fun, holiday craziness really sets in!
Our physical, mental, and emotional health are all so connected and all affect each other. How we fuel our bodies and move our bodies, how much sleep we get, what our relationships are like, how busy we are - all these things affect our mental and emotional well-being.
Today I want to focus on a concept that a little different. It’s something that my husband shared with me a few months ago - it’s an IT term called “Release and Renew” (that’s not the actual technical term but it’s the general idea).
It’s something that techies, like my husband, use when dealing with a particular issue that prevents a computer from accessing the Internet. The solution is to “release” and then “renew” the computer’s connection. He explained that sometimes, simply using “renew” would solve the problem; but often it doesn’t because the computer will simply “renew” itself in its current state with the root problem still there. However, if he uses “release” and then “renew,” that will force the computer to let go of what’s causing it to fail, making room for the computer to “renew” in a new state - one free from the thing causing it to fail.
He shared that he feels like there is a parallel that can be taken from this concept and applied to how we handle things in our lives (so yes, this is his original idea - I can’t take all of the credit), but I couldn’t agree more! Although this is a pretty nerdy analogy, when we apply this concept to our thoughts and emotions, I feel like it gives a great perspective!
Often things happen in our lives, some small and some monumental, that leave us feeling stuck or paralyzed. We try to pick up and move on - to renew, or start over, but we keep getting tripped up by this thing! Maybe it’s a past experience, maybe it’s something that someone said about you, maybe it’s a really bad habit or maybe even an addiction to something, maybe its a grudge or bitterness about someone or some situation - whatever the thing is, it feels like you just can’t get past it. You commit to doing better, you are motivated and have great intentions, but then you just find yourself in the exact same place struggling with the exact same thing.
Does that sound familiar to you? Most of us have experienced at least some level of this, but for some, it starts to define their lives.
The lesson that we can learn from this analogy is that it doesn’t always work to just “renew”. We can’t always just pick up and move forward. Sometimes, a lot of times, we need to first “release” or let go.
This sounds like an easy thing to do, but in reality, it can be so difficult! Releasing control of a situation that you’re fearful about; releasing a relationship that you know is unhealthy but you’re clinging to; releasing the comfort of a habit or addiction; releasing the pain or injustice that was done to you; releasing the negative, self-limiting thought that you believe about yourself - none of these things are easy to let go of, but these kinds of things will keep you in a cycle of frustration, and just like in our analogy, missed connections.
So how do we apply this practically to our lives? How can we “release and renew” these things that we are struggling with? I’d like to encourage you with a couple of things that have helped me personally.
Release - Surrender!
The first is to surrender. Whatever your struggle is - the thing, the thought, feeling, person, or situation - to God. Scripture tells us that His love for us is so deep and unending that He wants us to cast our cares, our burdens, our fears, and anxieties on Him - and to leave them there - to truly release them to Him.
In a message series that our Pastor recently taught at our church, He talked a lot about how the things we hold on to, the things that we find ourselves worrying about, reveal a lot about the condition of our hearts and of our beliefs about who God is - whether He is really good or not, whether He really loves us or not, whether He really is powerful or not.
So maybe you need to start there - evaluate your heart and the thoughts and feelings that seem to be tripping you up, and ask yourself 1.) if you truly believe that God is good, loving, and powerful enough to be trusted with your situation, and 2.) if so, why haven’t you released this thing to Him.
If this is something you know that you don’t believe or struggle to believe, but want to know more, please reach out to me - I would love to talk more with you about this.
Renew - Speak truth over yourself!
The second thing we can do is to renew our minds - our thoughts and our feelings - by speaking truth over ourselves. Once we’ve released these things, there’s a void, right? When we take captive thoughts or feelings that are harmful to us or are untrue and then release them, we can then renew and replace it with something that is true. There is so much freedom to be found in this! We can do this by reminding ourselves of who God says that we are - who He has made us to be.
Practically, for me, this looks like spending time reading God’s word, listening to worship music, surrounding myself with people who will help encourage me, uplift me and remind me of truth when I start to struggle. Also being careful of who and what I allow to speak into my life! I’ve even started to apply this to who I follow on social media. If I find that an account I follow is posting things that cause me to start to struggle with comparison or to start having negative, untrue thoughts about myself, my body, or my life, I just unfollow or hide them. It’s just not worth it!
I encourage you to think about ways you can implement this concept for yourself! Our brains are so amazing! They can forge new neural pathways, replacing the old with the new, but it takes work and repetition. A practice as simple as shutting down a negative, untrue, or unhealthy thought as soon as it enters your mind, and replacing it with one that is true, positive and healthy can actually change your brain and your thought patterns!
Thirdly, I want to add one more thought on this topic and that is that sometimes you also need to seek the help of a professional. A counselor or someone who is specifically trained to know how to navigate things like trauma, grief or addiction - even if it’s something that seems less serious, damage can be done to our minds and our bodies by things that have happened to us or hurts that we’ve been through. There is absolutely no shame in talking with a professional, and as a matter of fact, if you know me personally, you’ve probably heard me suggest counseling to you or someone else because I think it is so important and can be so helpful to your health!
Today’s topic may feel a little out there when thinking about your health, but I feel like it’s so important to look at our health as a whole. Everything is connected and one part of our lives affects all the others. As we move into this new season and are preparing for all the holiday gatherings with friends and family, it’s a great time to do some evaluation of the things that cause you to feel stuck or may cause you to dread or struggle with the upcoming season.
Please know that this is something that we all deal with and find those people who will uplift and encourage you when you are struggling. As always, if you feel you need additional support, you can always send me an email or set up a free consultation to see if there is something I can help you with. I’m happy to help or if I can’t, to connect you with someone who can!