What Covid_19 Has Taught Me about a Healthy Lifestyle

Hi friends! I’m going to be super transparent with you today. I don’t really want to record this episode. I’m weary, I’ve been fighting anxiety more than I want to admit and honestly, I’ve struggled with if I even need to continue putting out content right now because just about everything feels trivial in comparison to this virus and the effect it’s having on people’s lives. 

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As I’m typing this my husband, who is supposed to be working from home, is out on an on-site trying to help another company be able to work remotely, so they can stay afloat. Businesses are closing, everyone has to stay away from each other, people are getting sick and losing their jobs and some even their lives. It almost seems silly to come on here and talk to you about a healthy lifestyle - about what you eat or if you’re exercising or how you’re coping with the stress, but as these thoughts have been turning over inside my head, I keep coming back to this idea: During this pandemic, what has been made very clear to me is that the things I did and cared about from a vanity standpoint didn’t matter to me much at all anymore, but the rhythms and habits that I have put into place that make a difference in my mental and emotional health have never been more important. 

Even the really good things that I still believe are good and are beneficial to your health in the long run - like buying organic and trying to reduce toxin exposure, for example, just took a back seat, because, for the first time in my whole life, I entertained the thought that there might not be enough (and just let me add how much of an eye-opener this has been for me around the idea of privilege and how some people deal with these fears and realities every day - pandemic or not). However, the things that stood out to me, that have become necessary in order to keep some kind of control over my thoughts and emotions became front and center of my idea of a healthy lifestyle. Things like: 

• Having a daily quiet time and drawing near to God. Letting Him speak to my heart and mind the truth of His word has kept my mind centered where it needs to be. It’s allowed me to filter all my feelings through a lens of truth knowing that God is still good and nothing about Him has changed. 

• Moving my body and getting my heart rate up every day. There is a noticeable shift in my mental state when I do this. Not that it’s all better and fixed but I am able to think more logically about things and not just emotionally. Exercise has many benefits to our health but I’m more convinced now than ever that it’s greatest benefit is to our mental health.

• Getting enough sleep. This one has probably been the most impactful because it’s the one I’ve struggled with the most. Anxious thoughts flood my mind at night and make me really not want to go to sleep some nights and I can tell such a difference the next day based on how much I slept - not just mentally but physically too! 

Obviously, I still believe that eating nutritious food is important and protecting your gut health and the immune system is crazy important, especially now, and both of those things also have an impact on your mental health as well. 

I think this has just been a really good reminder for me that so much of our daily struggles can start in our minds and during a time like this when there is so much uncertainty, anxiety, and stress if we don’t make protecting our mindsets a priority, we’re likely going to stop caring about a lot of other things that help keep us healthy. 

(**Disclaimer - I’m not really talking about mental illness or chemical imbalances here. While some of these things may be helpful if you or someone you know is struggling with those issues, these things in no way replace a need for medicines or therapy.) 

So if you’re really struggling with your mindset and you don’t feel like you’re in a good mental/emotional state, take the steps - do the things - that can help with that first. Move your body, connect with God, laugh, sleep, connect with other humans (in a safe way). I think sometimes we have to choose to do the thing, and then the feeling and motivation will come later.  

I hope this has helped encourage you and I hope that you and your families are doing well. We will get through this crazy time and my hope and prayer is that we all choose to come out of it a little better than we were before. 

Hang in there, friends! Talk soon!

Endometriosis Awareness: Part Two - My #Endo Story

Welcome back, friends! Today is part two of the Endometriosis Awareness series and in this episode, I’m sharing my story with Endometriosis. 

I want to mention in the beginning of this episode that this is my story and how Endometriosis has affected my life and the things that have been helpful for me, so while some of these things may also be true for you, and may even be helpful for you, make sure you are working with a physician and other health professionals that can help you implement any changes you want to make or treatment methods you’d like to try. 

So here is my story: 

I was diagnosed with Endometriosis in 2014 after an exploratory laparoscopy - I had just turned 26. Although I had been having symptoms of hormonal imbalance and even a PCOS diagnosis a few years before, I hadn’t even really known anything about Endometriosis. I didn’t have chronic pain and at that time I would say I really had no symptoms at all (once I learned more about it I realized that I had been having symptoms just not the bad cramping or heavy periods that were so often thought to accompany Endo). 

The summer before my first surgery I experienced my first severe pain episode. I don’t remember a lot about it but I do remember yelling for my husband from the bathroom because I had never felt pain that intensely before and I had no idea what was happening. After an hour or so it finally eased off and I went right back to my normal life without missing a beat. 

The next time it happened was probably several months later but that time, the pain was unbearable. It came on suddenly again and I can distinctly remember rolling around my bed in pain. Again, I had no idea what was happening but thankfully I had a good friend who was a nurse and suggested that maybe it was a cyst rupturing and I needed to see my Dr. That time the intense pain lasted for an hour or two, but I couldn’t stand up straight afterward without having sharp pains in my lower abdomen. I went in for an ultrasound the next day and I remember being scared out of my mind! Was it a tumor? Ectopic pregnancy? Was it going to happen again? 

I remember crying during the ultrasound and the tech trying to calm me down but seeming very concerned herself. The ultrasound didn’t reveal much other than that there was a large cyst on my ovary and that I likely needed surgery to see what was going on. 

So as I already mentioned, I had that surgery a few weeks later which revealed that I had Stage 4 -Endometriosis, with lots of adhesions and several of my reproductive organs stuck together. My doctor told my parents that it was so severe that there was basically zero chance of conceiving if I hadn’t had the surgery. I actually remember being relieved in my very foggy post-op state that it was Endometriosis because I was terrified that it was a tumor. And while I’m so thankful it wasn’t cancer, I had no idea the weight of a Endometriosis diagnosis. 

I recovered pretty quickly from that surgery and the next several months following that are really fuzzy to me. I don’t think my surgeon / OB really explained much to me other than if we wanted to get pregnant, we needed to start trying as soon as I was healed from surgery. 

I ended up changing physicians during that time because of a friend’s recommendation that this doctor was experienced with Endometriosis management. At my first visit with her, she ran a few lab tests, including the antibody marker CA-125 which can sometimes show endometriosis in the body. I was so surprised when she called me a week later to say that my levels were already high again and that she was going to refer me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I was so frustrated because it hadn’t even been a year since my surgery and it was already back. 

One of the blessings of my Endo story is that I didn’t have the chronic pain that I know so many women experience, but in this case, it was also a curse because I had very little ability to monitor what was going on inside my body. 

After seeing my new RE, I had my second surgery in July 2015. This one was way harder for me. I was under anesthesia a lot longer (which is a whole other story in itself) and even though it hadn’t even been a year, I already had a lot of adhesions and endometrial tissue growing again, and my organs were getting stuck to each other again. Recovery was more difficult physically, because of the invasiveness of the procedure in order to get it all, as well as some allergic reactions and other complications I developed. In addition to that, this surgery was harder on me mentally as well. 

I distinctly remember the feeling that my body was betraying me - that it was doing all these things and I had absolutely zero control over it. I didn’t know why it was happening or what was causing it and I felt like there was nothing I could do to fix it. As a type A, fix-it, kind of girl this was very, very hard for me. I felt like I was doing all the things - I was trying to eat healthily, I was getting chiropractic adjustments, I was exercising, I was following my doctor’s recommendations - and yet this disease was still growing in my body. If it were not for my faith, my relationship with Jesus and the comfort and peace he allowed me to have, and the encouragement and support of my husband, my friends, and family - I don’t know how I would have gotten through that time.  Just as a side note, that is my number one piece of advice for someone with Endometriosis (or any chronic illness, really) don’t try to do this alone. It’s so much harder that way. That is one of the number one tools of satan - the enemy of our souls - to make us feel isolated, especially as women. To make us doubt God’s goodness, to make us think that no one could possibly understand or that no one really cares - and none of those things are true! So I just want to encourage you, fight back against that. Don’t isolate - find someone to talk to. Let people in, tell your friends, talk to your family about it, see a counselor. Endometriosis is a physical condition but just like so many other things in this life, it also wreaks havoc on your mind and your emotions. 

Following that surgery, we immediately started trying to conceive and I was regularly seeing my Reproductive Endocrinologist for that. We tried IUI and a few other of the conventional medicine options but unfortunately, were still not able to conceive. 

It was really at this time that my desire to really dive into more of an integrative/alternative medicine approach increased and I started researching as much as I could. I changed my diet, read books and articles constantly, took all kinds of different supplements, but I was just kind of lost in it all. I really needed someone to guide me and help me figure out what my body really needed. 

I had a friend of a friend that had a very similar story to mine and she had gone to see an herbalist in North Carolina and had drastic improvements and was even able to get pregnant and it just kept popping into my head that maybe this was something to try. To be honest, I had a lot of reservations about it. I definitely had zero understanding of what an herbalist did or how they were trained and I was extremely skeptical, but at this point, I figured it couldn’t hurt anything. So in the fall of 2016, I made an appointment and drove the two hours to see her. Honestly, the whole experience was so crazy and I will maybe have to do an entire episode about that experience because it’s way too much info for this episode, but to sum it up I’ll just say that I was totally caught off guard. This sweet lady starting explaining things to me about how the body worked that I had never heard before - and they made sense. Before even reading my medical history she was telling me that I had stagnation in my reproductive organs and all kinds of digestive issues that were driving a lot of my hormonal imbalances and inflammation - just by looking at my eyes and doing some muscle testing. She told me that I had an overgrowth of Candida in my gut and I needed to make changes to my diet and prescribed several different herbs and vitamins that I needed to take for the next 3-6 months. I’ve never experienced anything like it but I took her word for it and followed her recommendations. 

During this time I had also heard a lot of good things about acupuncture and how it could be beneficial for Endometriosis as well as aid in fertility. So around December of that year, I also started seeing a reproductive acupuncturist (spoiler: more on that soon!). 

I noticed a lot of my GI symptoms started to improve and I felt less stressed about everything. I realize now that it was a combination of the supplements, acupuncture, and really being able to release the control and fear over to God. And in February 2017, 4 months after seeing the herbalist and following her protocol and after two cycles of acupuncture, I found out I was pregnant (on valentine’s day)! Shocked is a major understatement for sure! I was able to have a healthy pregnancy with zero complications and delivered a very healthy baby girl. 

I can’t tell you what exactly it was that made the difference for me - was it the herbs? The acupuncture? Divine healing?  I honestly don’t think it was any one thing. I think that it all worked together! I think the surgery removed the adhesions and put things back in their proper place, the combination of the herbs and the diet helped to heal my gut and some inflammation, I think acupuncture helped my body relax and also helped with the hormone imbalance and inflammation. I know that God was in control of the whole thing - from start to finish. He has blessed us with science and medicine, and holistic healing modalities like acupuncture and plants/herbs and I think the whole time he was working on my heart to learn to trust Him. 

As far as where I am today with my Endometriosis story - the honest answer is that I don’t fully know. I had labs done again about a year ago and my hormone levels were good and my CA-125 levels were still low, which I’m so happy about but that isn’t 100% reliable. I still follow an anti-inflammatory diet and try to really preserve my gut health which I am sure is helping, but being someone that doesn’t have extreme symptoms from Endo, I can’t gage 100%. I plan to continue with this lifestyle and monitor my labs and go from there! We do hope to have more children, so I’m sure that will reveal more about how things are functioning for me. 

I hope that my story has just given you a little insight into the life of someone with endometriosis - and really, I’m one of the luckier ones. I’ve for sure had my fair share of difficulties with it, but not to the degree that a lot of women suffer. So many women live in chronic daily pain and have unbearable pain and horrible symptoms and debilitating anxiety every month. Many women have to miss work and school regularly because of their symptoms. It is a major financial burden and takes a huge emotional toll. If they are also trying to conceive, even more so. If you are someone with endometriosis, I hope my story has just given you a little hope to know that you aren’t alone, you aren’t crazy for feeling the way that you do, and that there are options out there to try that may help you. No one’s story is exactly the same but there is something for us to learn from each of our stories and I appreciate you taking the time to listen to mine. 

If you’d like to do your own research and maybe try some of these things I’ve mentioned for yourself, here are a few helpful links and resources: 

Integrative Women's Health Institute: https://integrativewomenshealthinstitute.com/?s=Endometriosis+

Dr. Jolene Brighten: https://drbrighten.com/causes-endometriosis-5-natural-treatment-strategies/

Natural Fertility Info: https://natural-fertility-info.com/?s=Endometriosis+

Acupuncture for Endometriosis Relief: https://www.healthcmi.com/Acupuncture-Continuing-Education-News/1770-acupuncture-beats-drug-for-endometriosis-relief

Tennessee Center for Reproductive Acupuncture: https://www.tennesseereproductiveacupuncture.com/phone/index.html

Sunshine Herbs and Vitamins Clinic in Asheville, NC: http://sunshineherbsandvitamins.com/practice.html

If you know someone who has endometriosis, share this episode with them! It was always helpful for me to read other people’s stories so I know it will be helpful for them too! 

027 - The Secret to Healthy Skin Starts from Within

Welcome back, friends!  Today we are talking about healthy skin! We all deal with skin issues from time to time but for some of us it’s a major source of frustration that can really mess with our confidence and self-esteem. Especially when we can’t seem to get to the bottom of it no matter what we do! 

Well, today’s post won’t answer all your skin health-related questions, but hopefully, it will give you some helpful knowledge about what your skin may be trying to tell you and how you can help keep it looking and feeling healthy! Let’s get into it! 

It probably won’t come as a surprise to you that healthy skin starts from within our bodies. We tend to want to focus on products and things we can put on our skin from the outside - and we will get into that a little later - but really, we need to start by focusing on what we put into our bodies and what is going on with the function of the inside of our bodies first. That’s where the big difference is made. 

So often when we experience one of these skin issues, or maybe even cyclical hormonal breakouts, we tend to jump to what we can take or apply that might fix the problem. We think of it as only going skin-deep, so to speak. But really it’s likely giving you a clue of some other dysfunction or imbalance in the body. 

Our skin is our largest organ, one of our strongest defenses, and it’s also one of our few detox pathways - so it has a lot of functions that affect our whole bodies and visa versa.

There seem to be three main dysfunctions in the body that tend to show up in the skin. 

An overloaded, congested liver - which can often result in acne; poor gut health, either an imbalance in the microbiome or leaky gut syndrome - which can also result in both acne and eczema, as well as cause plenty of other health issues. And the other is blood sugar dysregulation or chronically high insulin levels - which leads to high levels of inflammation in the body and can show up as skin issues like cyclical breakouts, acne, etc. This will often be associated with other hormonal imbalance symptoms as well, maybe even PCOS. 

There can definitely be other causes as well but those are the three that are most common. So if you are dealing with any those issues, it’s worth it to take a look at your liver health,  as well as your gut health and make sure your glucose and insulin levels are where they should be as well. 

So now that we’ve talked about some common causes let’s talk about what you can do to help with these issues! 

Focus on what you are eating 

The first thing is to focus on what you are eating. The common thread in a lot of these skin issues is inflammation, so choosing to remove inflammatory foods (processed foods, sugar, refined grains, oftentimes dairy) will help and then also following an anti-inflammatory diet. This is going to look like a lot of plants - veggies and fruits high in antioxidants and fiber (think leafy greens, broccoli, cauliflower, blueberries, acerola cherries, strawberries), healthy fats (like avocados, coconut products, nuts like almonds and cashews, olive oil) and then clean, organic proteins (like wild-caught fish, grass-fed beef, lentils, and beans, etc). 

Make sure you are well hydrated

Also drinking a LOT of water. Like a lot. Your gut and liver depend on you doing this in order to function well. This is key in helping to flush toxins from your body, as well as adding the hydration needed for the skin. Remember, your goal is half your body weight in ounces every day (weight in lbs.  / 2 = # of ounces you need to drink daily)

Take skin-loving supplements to boost your nutrient levels

Adding in key supplements like collagen (either in bone broth which is healing for your whole body or through a protein powder, like collagen peptides). Collagen is one of the main proteins in our bodies - it helps make up our skin, hair, nails, joints, gut lining, etc. so it’s important that we have enough! Also anti-inflammatory supplements like fish oil / omega-3 and curcumin (found in turmeric) can help lower overall inflammation in the body. Also, adrenal healing herbs like ashwagandha and ginseng can also help to help regulate cortisol in the body, which will help with the inflammation as well. And then, of course, you know that I’m all about getting good probiotics in - whether through fermented foods like sauerkraut and kefir or through a supplement, like a soil-based probiotics, or one of my current favs MaryRuth Organics Raw Liquid probiotics. 

Live an Anti-Inflammatory Lifestyle

In addition to eating an anti-inflammatory diet, the other thing that will help is also living an anti-inflammatory lifestyle. This means getting good, restorative sleep (7-9 hours every night - this is when your body rebuilds and repairs) and also lowering your emotional stress (this has a huge effect on your gut health and adrenal health), so try to find ways to actively pursue peace in your life.

The other side to having healthy skin is obviously going to be what you put on it and what you expose it to.

Use clean skincare products 

Did you know that your skin has a microbiome, or ecosystem of bacteria, just like your gut? We need to be careful that what we are applying to our skin, to clean or moisturize isn’t something that will strip the skin or kill the food bacteria. Also, make sure that it isn’t full of parabens, sulfates, and artificial fragrances that contain who knows what kind of chemicals. Not only are those things damaging to our skin but they also absorb into our bloodstreams and only create more problems for our livers and gut, creating more inflammation. 

Look for products that are made of ingredients that you recognize, that are naturally sourced, and if you want fragrance, use natural sources for that too, like essential oils. 

You can use the Think Dirty or EWG apps to search for products that are safe for your whole body. I know that Beautycounter and Primally Pure are both really safe, clean options. I’ve also heard some great things about Honest Beauty brand, and Acure, although I haven’t used those myself. Even my girl, MaryRuth has a few facial masks and other skincare products you can check out. 

The good news is that most common skin-issues can be resolved! You may need to do a little digging into what is actually causing it and what may not be functioning well in your body - but that will only help to make you healthier overall, not just help your skin! It’s a much better option than just trying to treat symptoms and cover things up! 

If you have any questions about today’s episode or feel like you need some specific, personalized help - please reach out. I’d love to help you! 

015 - Boost Your Health by Moving Your Body

Hi friends! Today we are continuing to talk about ways to support our health, specifically our emotional and mental health by moving our bodies. 

Our bodies were designed to move! Our bodies will not function well if we aren’t engaging in regular physical activity. You’ve probably heard the tagline “Sitting is the new smoking” and that is because research is starting to show just how detrimental inactivity is to our health. 

Benefits 

Just as a reminder, some of the health benefits to exercise are:

• Happiness - endorphins / serotonin

• Mental clarity / increased memory

• Better sleep / supports natural circadian rhythms

• Energy boost

• Reduces stress in the body

• Reduce overall disease risk

• Pushes toxins out of the body

• Increases strength and endurance

• Supports healthy weight

• Facilitates Longevity

Guidelines 

Everyone seems to have an opinion on which type of exercise is the best or exactly how you should go about it, but there’s not a specific kind of physical activity that is best for everyone. Just like most things, the method or type of exercise that is best for you depends on your specific situation, needs, and preferences. 

There are a few general guidelines, however, that apply to everyone:

• AMA recommendations - 150 min of moderate-intensity aerobic exercise per week, plus 2 days of strength training / 30 min / 5 days a week is ideal (You can start by doing 10 min x 3 per day).

• Bodyweight / weighted strength exercises are good! 

  Women have been known to be scared of doing weightlifting or strength-training exercises because they don’t want to get bulky or look like a body-builder. But this is actually not possible without externally altering your hormones or working out so much that you increase natural testosterone production, so this isn’t something we need to fear! 

  Bodyweight strength-training exercises, as well as weighted exercises,  have significant benefits to our health. 

  • Builds bone mass

  • Increases the body’s sensitivity to insulin

  • Helps to prevent and/or manage autoimmune diseases

  • Increases strength and ability to function

• More is not always better

  • Two-a-day workouts or high-intensity workouts that last more than 1.5-2 hours can do more harm than good. Not only can it increase the risk of injury and fatigue, but it also can lead to sustained high rates of inflammation in the body. This can cause the body to be under too much stress, for too long and will lead to inflammatory issues, like hormone imbalance. 

Most important - choose something that you enjoy!

If you hate exercising, you’re not going to do it, so choose an activity that you enjoy. You can choose to workout in a gym, at home, with a friend, or alone - just whatever you feel works best for you and that you will stick to! 

Evaluate yourself and pinpoint what you need: 

• Is it to find something you enjoy? Choose a new option to try this week! Accountability? Ask a friend to join you or give them permission to ask you about it.

• Sit all day at work? Set reminders to get up every hour and walk around for a few minutes - fill up your water bottle or do a few stretches! Even better - be the change and start leading office-wide stretches or a walking group in your department! You never know what kind of impact you can have with just a little suggestion and it will benefit everyone! 

• Can’t afford a gym membership or don’t want one? Search for quality workouts on youtube (Nourish, Move, Love, is a great resource!) Also, now that the weather is cooler, just get out and go for a walk! 

• Prefer to have more support? Sign up for a personal trainer to show you exactly how to workout in a way that will help you grow stronger and prevent injury! OR join a fitness class at your local gym! You will be surrounded by others doing that exact same exercises, with the instruction of an instructor! You get both a social connection and a great workout! 

There really are so many options and with a little effort, you can find something that will work for you! 

Well, friends, I hope this episode gave you a little reminder and boost to get up and get moving! It did for me! 

014 - 10 Tips for a Healthy Relationship

Friends! We are continuing the theme of focusing on ways to support our mental and emotional health - and today, I have my very first guest ever joining me on the podcast - my husband, Scott!

Today, well - the day this episode will be released - is our 10th wedding anniversary (So crazy)! So we thought it would be fun to do an episode that focuses on relationships and just some general tips for healthy relationships that we’ve learned over the past 10 years of marriage - and a lot of these can really be applied to any relationship - not just in marriage.

Scott and I met in college - although neither of us actually remembers meeting (romantic, right?). We were part of a mutual circle of friends and were around each other a lot (and did quite a bit of flirting 😉), but we were both dating other people at the time. However, the next spring I asked him out on a date and the rest is history! We dated for about 9 months before he popped the question, and we got married the next October. It’s hard to believe that it was 10 years ago! 

We want to share a few tips that we have found really helpful in our relationship and that has helped us to be a more unified team - not that we have mastered any of them!

Make God the center of your relationship/home

This one sounds a bit cliche but the truth is that it’s difficult to have a solid relationship if it isn’t built on a solid foundation. As Christians, our marriage vows weren’t just a promise to each other, but more importantly to God. So when things feel difficult or we aren’t exactly in sync with each other, reminding ourselves of how Christ loves us - and the grace and forgiveness He has given us - help us to extend the same type of love and grace to each other. 

Communicate expectations

Communication is everything, you guys! It took me way too long to accept the fact that Scott can’t read my mind and it’s kind of unfair for me to expect him to. Sure, as you grow together over time you will start to know and understand your spouse better, but you still won’t be able to predict every single thought or desire that they have. So just help them out and tell them! (Reminding myself here too!)

Embrace respectful confrontation 

Most people don’t enjoy confrontation, but we’ve learned that healthy confrontation, when needed can keep things from building up to the point of a big argument. Obviously, we don’t need to bring up or knit-pick every single little thing that we don’t like or agree with, but if it is something that becomes repetitive, and will eventually be a bigger issue, then it’s better to address it now. Just remember to be gracious and respectful of the other person. Their opinions and beliefs feel just as true to them as yours do to you. 

Learn the other person’s personality type/love language

I love learning about personality types and what makes people the way they are, but I understand that not everyone is like that (Scott being one of them). However, whether you are an enneagram nerd or not, there is still a lot of benefit from learning more about your spouse so that they can feel loved and known by you. I highly recommend taking a personality test like the enneagram together and well as learning each other’s love language! 

Get on the same page with money

Money is one of the top causes of disagreement in a relationship. We experienced this first-hand as both of us came from very different backgrounds and had different opinions and beliefs about debt, savings, etc. One of the best things you can do early in your relationship is to get on the same page with your money. Once you are married, the two of you become one - and that includes your money, your debts, etc. We highly recommend a program like Financial Peace University! It helped us to remember that we were on the same team and helped us work together toward a common goal rather than feel like we were working against each other. 

Assume the best of each other

Sometimes our imaginations get the best of us. We assume that the off-handed comment that someone made was said to hurt our feelings...or the fact that our spouse is staring at their phones while we are trying to talk to them means that they don’t care about us or what we are saying, but what if instead of assuming those things, we tried to assume the best about them instead? Most of the time the things that offend or bother us aren’t done intentionally - and honestly, it usually has more to do with the other person than it does with us. We can save ourselves a lot of heartaches and arguing if we choose to assume the best about those that we know love us and care about us, instead of being easily offended by them. 

Make regular date nights a priority

This is an obvious one, but it deserves repeating! We are the first to admit that we aren’t always great at this. It becomes so easy, especially when you have kids, to put spending intentional time with your spouse on hold, but that’s not what is best for your relationship, or even what is best for your kids. Date nights also don’t have to be a big, extravagant thing every single time. If you’re on a budget, have a regular at-home date night after the kids go to bed.. Or do something simple like a morning coffee date instead of an expensive dinner. It doesn’t so much matter what it is that you do, as it does that you are choosing to spend quality time together. 

Be lavish with your compliments and stingy with your criticism 

It is so easy for us to take advantage of the things that I spouses do for us. We just get so used to them being there for us, or always taking out the trash, or whatever it is, that we forget to even acknowledge them for it. Yet, we are still super quick to criticize when they do something that we don’t like or disagree with. We need to turn this one around! Take the time to notice the things that your spouse does for you around the house and thank them for it.. Or complement the way they look. Just a small word of encouragement or thankfulness will go a long way! 

Present a united front

This advice is often given in parenting - and for good reason. Our kiddos should never think that they can play us against each other, but this idea can be applied in other situations as well! We need to be careful about running to anyone - our parents, friends, whoever and complaining about or being critical of our spouse. No one should think that they can come to you and be negative about your husband/wife and that you will agree or go along with it. You should always have each other’s backs. Any complaints or discussion about your spouse needs to be taken directly to them. There may be times that you need to seek some counsel or advice from a friend about your relationship, but just be sure that your motives are where they should be and not just for you to vent or feel validated in your own opinion.

Do the little things 

This one goes back to making your spouse feel loved and seen. Scott is so good about this! Little things like letting me have the last bite of dessert or getting up and making the coffee in the mornings go a long way to help me feel loved and seen by him. Whatever that is for your spouse, just go out of your way to do the things that make them feel loved!

Thank you guys so much for taking the time to listen to this episode and to help us celebrate our anniversary! We hope these tips will be good reminders for you, just as they have been for us

If you haven’t subscribed or left a review yet, I would love if you would take just a minute to do so! Reviews help others find the podcast more easily and it means a lot to me! Hope you have a wonderful week and I’ll see ya back here next time!