Why We Struggle with Consistency

How often have you heard “consistency is key”? It’s everywhere, right? In a lot of instances, I think this is absolutely true, but I want us to go a little deeper today because consistency is often a pain point for people when it comes to their health. Often when I ask my friends or even my Instagram followers what they are struggling with the most or where they feel like they need the most support, every single time the overwhelming popular response is “consistency”. Consistency in exercising, getting good sleep, eating nutritious food, not eating junk food every night, and on and on it goes. I would venture to guess, you’ve probably had a few of those thoughts yourself and I would say “me too”. I have found myself feeling the same frustration - “ugh! Why can’t I stay consistent in this?!”

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Recently I’ve been doing some work that’s prompted me to dig deeper into the idea of body image and diet culture - and why we so often feel like we are failing in this area of consistency. One thing that has come up for me and that I think may be one of the biggest contributors to this common struggle is a misalignment between our mindset and our goal. 

I know that sounds a little philosophical, but hear me out on this. 

When the goal (our desired result) is to lose weight, get our bodies “summer-ready”, change sizes or “tone up” a certain area, or even to feel “good” or get back to feeling energetic like we did 5 or 10 years ago, etc. - we will get overwhelmed. First of all, those things are not always in our control. We can do all the “right things” - follow all the principles of living a healthy lifestyle and sometimes still not lose a pound, or still not get pregnant, or still have a disorder or disease. So that’s going to feel really frustrating and we’re probably going to give up. We will also often give up because of the massiveness of the goal. It doesn’t seem attainable - it feels so far out of reach, so we often won’t see the value in sticking to whatever plan we had made for ourselves. 

However, when the goal is something attainable, something we can control, something that is directly and immediately affected by our choices, it makes following the plan easier, therefore allowing us to be “consistent” in our behavior. 

Let me put this in a practical context and use this for an example: 

Scenario - It’s 9:45 pm and you can’t stop thinking about the ice cream in the freezer. 
Goal: Be able to fit back into the jeans you wore two summers ago (the pre-covid ones :P)

Your thinking will most likely go something like this: “ugh - this sucks! I bet ____ doesn’t have to worry about not eating ice cream.”, or “meh! Who cares? I’ll never get back in those jeans anyway”, or “I’ve already fallen off the wagon the past few days, what’s one more treat? I’ll do better tomorrow”... and then you either deprive yourself and don’t eat it while inducing shame and judgment on yourself and others; or you do eat the ice cream and immediately feel regret or apathy about the goal you set for yourself. This leads you to the question, “Why can’t I be consistent in what I’m eating?!” Does that sound familiar?

Now contrast that with the same scenario but a different goal:

Scenario - It’s 9:45 pm and you can’t stop thinking about the ice cream in the freezer. 
Goal: To feel good about how you are caring for your body 

Can you already feel the difference? In this scenario, your thinking may go something like this: “hmmm… well, every time I eat that ice cream, my stomach gets so bloated and I feel miserable for hours. I don’t think it’s worth that. What else do we have instead?” , or “I love that ice cream - that sounds so good, but it is going to probably spike my blood sugar pretty high. What can I eat with it to help stabilize my blood sugar?”, or maybe even “Ah yes! I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to try that ice cream and I know it’s made with good ingredients. Let’s go for it!”. So either you choose to eat the ice cream or you don’t, but you make a conscious decision that won’t be followed by guilt or regret. 

The difference is that with the second goal, you are making a decision from a place of loving and caring for your body right now, just as it is, rather than making a decision from a place of shame or apathy while putting a ridiculous amount of pressure and expectation on yourself. 

One of the biggest enemies of consistency is unrealistic expectations. 

There is definitely something to be said about being intentional and scheduling things into your day or week like prioritizing sleep and exercise. There is a practical, logical piece of actually planning things into your calendar or schedule because if you don’t, it probably won’t happen. But again, we are much more likely to make choices that support our wellbeing when we are operating from a goal of caring for our bodies and stewarding them well. 

So I want to challenge you to take a look at your goal or your lack of goal. If you are feeling discontent or wanting to change something about your health, what is your goal? Is it to take good care of your body, to love it well, and to support it in functioning well? If not, consider making it your goal. It will change how you make decisions. It will change how you feel the decisions you make. It will change how you feel about yourself. 

If this idea rubs you the wrong way or you find yourself rolling your eyes a little bit while listening to this, ask yourself why. Dig in a little bit. Does the idea of loving your body, caring for your body, or stewarding your body well seem weird or even wrong to you? Do you feel like your body is subpar or broken or maybe shouldn’t even be considered at all? If so, why? Where did that idea come from? 

If you find yourself feeling this way - let me ask you a few questions that I hope will change your perspective. Do you believe that your body was created by God? The same God that created the sky and the ocean, and the sun and the moon. Do you remember that after He created man and woman - their bodies - He said that it was good? Do you actually think that He could make something that is bad or subpar? If you find yourself thinking that about your body that way or talking about your body that way, isn’t that insulting your Creator? 

Please know that I don’t ask you these questions to put shame on you, if anything I want to help pull shame off of you. Friends, we think that our biggest problem or struggle or obstacle is not being consistent, but in reality, our biggest obstacle is that we have a misalignment between our mindset and our goal. 

When we view our bodies as something to be fixed, or a project that always needs to be improved, or even as just a tool, or really anything other than a good creation of the Father in which we get to experience this life and experience Him, we will not be motivated to be consistent in caring for our bodies. It will feel useless, pointless, we might even find ourselves believing that it’s vain. 

I’m not saying any of this as someone who has conquered this or figured it all out but as someone who is right there with you. I’ve been working through some of these thoughts and feelings myself over the past few weeks. I’ve had to dig deep and ask myself these same questions about what I believe about my body and the One who made it. I can honestly say that realigning my mindset with what God says and focusing on the goal of caring for my body out of a place of love, gratitude, and stewardship, has made a huge difference for me and I believe it will make a difference for you too. 

It’s easy to get caught up in what culture says about health or about what we should look like, eat like, workout like but as believers, as women who follow Jesus, that is not where we find truth and direction for our lives. 

If you feel frustrated with yourself because you don’t feel that you can “stay consistent” or because you lack motivation, ask yourself these questions. Check your mindset and focus on the goal of caring for your body, being kind to and grateful for your body instead of trying to make it into something or make it look a certain way. 

If you feel like you need to do some work around the issue of body image or body shame, or if you would just like to know more about a kingdom mindset about health and body image, I encourage you to check out Jess Connolly’s Good Body Gals community. I have found it incredibly helpful for my own soul as well as helping me think about how I teach and coach other women. You can find all the information about it in her Instagram bio or by searching for the tag #goodbodygals. 

If you feel like you need one-on-one support in this area or in knowing what steps to take, what being kind to your body looks like, what a healthy lifestyle looks like for you, I’d love to help you with that. I offer a free initial consultation where I learn about your specific needs, goals, and current obstacles and together we can come up with a plan to help. You can learn more about that by going to yourhealthforward.com. 

That does it for me today, friends. Thanks for spending some of your day here with me. Keep moving forward, go love your people well and I’ll talk with you next time!

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Ask Alaina: Q&A

In this week's episode, I'm answering your questions! Listen in to hear my answers about health, faith, the enneagram, and a few other random topics thrown in too, just for fun!

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Questions from this week’s episode:

What’s your favorite thing to teach?

Favorite worship song and why?

If you could trade places with anyone who would it be and why? 

What’s your opinion on probiotics? Real food vs supplement? 

What are some ways to incorporate good fats into your diet (not a fan of avocados)?

When people say “do your own research” what does that mean? Google? Pubmed? 

What is your enneagram number?

If you could shout one thing that the whole world would hear, what would it be?

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