What I've Learned about Body Image and Chronic Disease
Hi friends! In this episode, I’m sharing some things that I’ve learned recently about navigating body image while dealing with chronic disease and how it’s affecting me personally. My hope is that some of these things that I’ve learned will be helpful and encouraging for you too!
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So if you’re thinking, “wow, Alaina - you’ve been talking an awful lot about body image lately…”, let me just say - you’re not wrong.
A couple of months ago, one of my favorite people to follow online - Jess Connolly - started promoting her new book “Breaking Free from Body Shame” that comes out this month, and instead of a launch team, she created a community called Good Body Gals - if you listen to me here, online, or in real life, you’ve definitely heard me talk about it. :) I joined it because 1) - I’m a Jess fan-girl and 2) because I wanted to learn more about struggles with body image and body shame - especially from a Christian perspective, not only for myself but for the women that I coach. I wanted to be better equipped on how to help them work through some of these issues as well.
What I did not anticipate is that right about that same time, I would start having Endo symptoms flare up and find out that I need to have another surgery soon. It’s been six years since my last surgery and when I had that last one I was in the thick of a long season with infertility, so I really wasn’t sure how the news would affect me this time around. I certainly wasn’t prepared for the way it would affect my body image.
Last time, I was so much younger and was so deeply wounded and hurting from the journey I had been on. I remember feeling like my body was broken or betraying me back then but this time, I expected it to be different, I guess. I’m older, I feel like I’ve healed a lot emotionally, I’ve grown a lot spiritually, and by God's sweet faithfulness and grace, I am a mom now! I even went back to school and learned how to help others with Endo and other health challenges… how am I struggling so much with this now?
But it wasn’t different. If anything, I think it hit me a little harder this time.
My thoughts quickly started spiraling - I thought I was done with this part of my life, you know - the “pain into purpose”, Cinderella story thing. A chapter in my story that I could look back on and credit with helping me know God more and finally figure out what I wanted to do with my life.
I’m a health coach now! I teach other people how to move through their own health challenges and support their bodies in functioning the best that they can! How can mine be struggling so much?
I felt frustrated. I felt a little ashamed. I felt like I didn’t do enough, didn’t know enough. That it was somehow my fault.
I know the reality. I know that Endo is never truly gone/cured (outside of something miraculous- which I do believe can happen but don’t believe that everyone’s story goes that way). If I hadn't learned and applied what I have to try and support my body, things would likely be much, much worse. I probably would’ve already needed surgery again long before now, but the thing is, logic doesn’t really have much of an effect on feelings, does it?
I’m so thankful that God allowed me to join the Good Body Gals community right at that same time. He knew that I would need to have some truth poured into me and spoken over me to fight these feelings. {Btw, this episode isn’t a plug for Jess or her community - although I highly recommend it to any woman, anywhere, any age}. My point in all of this is that this is a hard issue that so many of us deal with. Whether it’s as simple as feeling disappointed in yourself every time you look in the mirror, or something horrible and derogatory that someone has spoken over you that you’ve allowed to define you and still ring in your ears today, or if it’s some kind of brokenness and weakness that you are experiencing in your body - whatever the circumstance poor body image or body shame is a common struggle that when left unchecked or unmet with the truth, will start to affect the rest of your life and your health.
I want to share just a couple of the things that I’ve learned or been reminded of over the last few weeks that I hope will help you too.
My body is not a project
This one really got me. I didn’t realize it until I heard it specifically addressed and taught on, but this is something that I have subconsciously thought about myself at least since I received the #endo diagnosis, maybe before that. My body being able to function, be fertile, perform, look and act the way that I wanted it to is something I have been striving toward for the past 8 or so years. Don’t get me wrong, I 100% believe in supporting our bodies to be as healthy and functioning as they can be - but for me, especially while I was going through infertility, it crossed over into obsession and consumed me. This idea of always striving, always improving, always optimizing consumed more of my thoughts, time, money, and probably even my prayers than just about anything else during that time. When I realized that I was starting to be symptomatic again, it was so easy for all of those obsessive “need to fix it” type thoughts to start rolling in again and with it these fears and insecurities that maybe I wasn’t worthy enough or knowledgeable enough to do this - to keep teaching you how to support your own health.
My body is not a tool
Another lesson that was shared recently was the idea that not only is my body not a project, but it’s also not a tool. To be honest, I had some mental/emotional resistance to that one at first. I think I’ve always believed that my body or my health was a tool for me to turn around and use to serve others - and that sounds good, right? I mean, aren’t we supposed to be selfless and all about helping others?
Here’s the issue with both of these ideas: when we view our bodies, or even our health, as a continual project or as a tool only intended for other people, it can quickly lead us into shame and feelings of failure because the “project” will never be done or complete on this Earth - the goalposts will keep moving and we won’t ever catch them, and at some point, our bodies aren’t going to feel like a very useful tool anymore - they aren’t going to perform, look, act, or be able to be used the way that they once were. Both of these ways of thinking lead us to look at ourselves with shame, guilt, or disappointment. And the real, real issue is that they have us just looking at ourselves.
The actual beautiful truth that we can replace these false ideas with is that God created our bodies as a gift! He made them so that we would have a way to experience Him and worship Him while we are here on this earth and also be able to experience the rest of His creation. When we adopt this perspective instead, we find ourselves looking at God rather than ourselves and that’s the whole point. He made our bodies good and beautiful because they reflect Him.
God’s Glory
The last thought I want to leave you with today is something that was so, so convicting to me. God is God - and that means that He is always after His Glory. When we find ourselves getting caught up in how our bodies look, how they are performing, how healthy they are or aren’t - we need to think long and hard about our motives. Why do we want those things so badly? Is it so that other people will see how good we look, how hard we’ve worked, how healthy we are, how much weight we’ve lost or muscle we’ve gained? Do we want other people to see us? If it’s about that, if that’s where our motives are - then we are out for our own glory. If we find ourselves thinking “wow - look at her” or “wow - look what she’s been able to do” (and friends, let's be honest - we have all thought those things at some point), then we are trying to take God’s glory. As believers, as women who bear the image of God, our goals should be wrapped up in people looking at us and saying “wow - look at God”, “Wow - look what God has done.”
I know that is tough and kinda stings because it got me too. I’m still preaching it to myself as much as I am to you - but if we are going to experience true freedom in our health and our body image, we are going to have to align ourselves with the truth of what God says about it (He created us after all) and then we will be able to care for our health and our bodies as the gifts that they are.
Some exciting news…
Lastly, I want to share some exciting news with you today! As we are talking about aligning ourselves with truth and caring for our bodies as the gifts that they are - I have created something that I believe will help you do just that!
For a long time, I have been wanting to provide an option for women just like you who are wanting to support their bodies and improve certain areas of their health but want to do it in a way that actually moves their health forward with a real, lasting impact. I know how overwhelming it can be to try to figure out what to do first and which thing is best for you, specifically - and I want to make that easier for you than it was for me, which I why I started coaching - but I also know that not everyone has the budget or schedule margin for one-on-one coaching. So I’m so excited to share with you that I have created an eCourse! Hooray!
The Move Forward, Feel Better course is a 4-module course, in which you will learn the exact steps needed to:
Sustain your energy throughout the day, without the afternoon crash
Support a healthy weight that’s right for your body
Improve the clarity of your skin, from the inside out
Increase your mental clarity and ability to focus
Build a strong, well-functioning immune system
Stabilize your mood and reduce frustration with yourself
Foster a healthy body image that’s based on the truth of who you are
Support your gut health and overall function of your body
So now you’re thinking “sounds great… but what’s the price?” {See, I told you that I’ve been where you are. ;)}
While I’ve seen other courses similar to this one that retails anywhere from $300-$400 and I could easily charge that for this course, I want to make this as affordable and accessible to you as possible, which is why I’m offering this course for only $79.
And as a special gift, you can also get a follow-up, 1-hr, group-coaching session with me for absolutely FREE when you enroll in the course by next Thursday, June 17th (that’s one week from today).
Once you enroll in the course, you will have lifetime access to all the videos, course guides, a private FB community where you can be in community with other women, just like yourself so there is no better time to take advantage of this offer - start moving forward in your health journey, and caring for your body as the gift that it is. And don’t forget, when you enroll with the code HFpod you will also get a free group coaching session with me!
I’m so excited to be able to offer this course to you! You can get all the details, as well as enroll in the course by going to yourhealthforward.com/course.